1. ”Yeh billi hai ya bilauta?”

Neither. This is a special unique specimen called billo.

2. ”Iske injection lage hue hai?”

Nope, I’m raising her to be a rabies factory.

3. ”Kaategi to nahi?”

Look around you. Does this look like the Amazon? And does my cat look like a vicious croc?

4. ”Kutte jaise baat maante hai, yeh baat manti hai?”

Not really. I have to bring in a special negotiator to convince her to do things.

5. ”Fish khaati hogi khoob”

No she mostly eats pizza. And salads on Tuesdays.

6. ”Doodh toh poora pee jaati hogi”

She drinks half, makes lassi out of the other half and sells it for a hefty profit.

7. ”Panja toh nahi maregi?”

Okay, have you been watching Wolverine again?

8. ”Yeh meow karti hai?”

Of course not. She’s a cat not a cow. Cows meow. Cats oink. But you knew that already didn’t you?

9. ”Zyaada log billi paalte nahi hai..very rarely….”

Seriously? Please go to a little known site called Youtube and search for cat videos.

10. ”Kutte jaise loyal hote hai, billiyaan toh bhaag jaati hai..”

Yeah true. In fact this isn’t even my cat.

11. ”Aapki baat samajhti hai?”

No I hire Dr. Do Little to come and speak on my behalf.

12. ”Cats ka owner se kya lena dena, woh toh bas khaane ke liye saath rehti hai…isse achha toh kutta paal lete..they are more loyal..”

Why stop there? Let me just replace all animals everywhere in the world with dogs. Happy?

13. ”Have you taught her any tricks?”

I’m sorry. Is that ‘Big Fat Cat Circus’ board still outside my home?

14. ”All cats look the same..”

I bet you wouldn’t say that to Samuel Jackson now would you?

15. ”Iska koi naam hai?”

No, she doesn’t have any name. I cough everytime I have to call her.