Humans have been fighting over imaginary friends for a long time. In our quest to prove that our imaginary friend is the best; we’ve killed, looted and raped. It was only a matter of time before we had a surge of these new religions which had everything good about the religion minus the misinterpretations by men. In India, it’s acceptable to kill people over killing cows now or to kill someone over drawing something.
Here are a few religions that you can’t legally convert to in India.
1. Yeezianity – They worship Kanye West
Yeezianists believe that Kanye West is Yeezus (this horrible pun should be made a criminal offence). These super hardcore fans of Kanye got together and started a religion in his name.
2. Dudeism – They’ve taken The Big Lebowski way too seriously
You think that creating a religion out of a movie is uncool? Well That’s just, like… uhh you know… your opinion man. There are over 1500 registered Dudeist priests all over the world. The Big Lebowski has marked its stamp on the real world with the most chilled out religion in the world.
3. Jediism – When Star Wars gets real
Star Wars is the biggest Pop Culture entity in the World. We’ve had numerous instances where the George Lucas space opera has influenced mankind but Jediism is definitely one of the bigger social impacts. You can register yourself on their website and live life like a true Jedi.
4. Festivus – The Seinfeld religion is not a joke
The popular Seinfeld reference has made its way to religion where people following Festivus can now request extra holidays or meals. This started as a recurring joke but is now a legitimate religion.
5. Juggalo Faith – The Religion of Face Paint and Vandalism
FBI considers these guys as a threat because they are basically an organised crime who vandalise properties. They are extremely close to an actual religion because they paint their faces and turn themselves into literal clowns before destroying property.
6. Shrekism – Those who believe that the World is Shrek’s Swamp
The most inclusive religion of them all, Shrekism came into existence after 4chan users decided to make Shrek into an internet celebrity. If this isn’t recognised in India soon, it’ll all be ogre soon.
7. Dinkoism – They worship a mouse in a super-hero costume
This is a special religion popular in Kerala. Indians like animals and Dinkoism is a religion dedicated to worshiping a mouse in a Superman costume. This restores my faith in humanity!
8. Pastafarians – The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is one of the fastest growing religions in the world
A religion centered around the Flying Spaghetti Monster sounds like a joke, right? Well it isn’t. This is one of the earliest alternate religions in the World and is focused around how the Flying Spaghetti Monster is our lord saviour. They also believe that Pirates cause Global Warming.
9. Church of Cannabis – A new high for any religion
If everyone across the world converted to this religion, World Peace will be achieved. A special church dedicated to Marijuana is what humanity always needed.
10. The sect of Gadget Hackwrench – Things tend to get weird in Russia
How can a cartoon character made for kids influence adults into creating a particular religion? In an absurd move, a group of Russians have formed a cult that worships Gadget Hackwrench. This weird practice has become popular now because of the sheer absurdity of the concept.
There have been zero reported deaths because of clashes between these alternate religions. Maybe it is time that we turn to other options and make these religions legal in India as well.
