Dialogues of a small class skit, I participated in middle school, rings in my head, "When I look into my mirror, I see pride, love and dignity. My ancestors fought hard to survive, so that I could be here today, what's wrong with me? Nothing's wrong with me." Back in eighth grade, I never realised how much it mattered to accept your body. In fact, it took a decade to realise what those words were trying to say. It's been a long time coming, but dear body, here's the love in words you deserve.
I am really sorry for the times I have ignored you.
I am so sorry I overlooked all the warning signs you sent my way. In the guise of fun, I drank my way into the morning on an empty stomach, smoked without any preamble of feeding myself and then pulled all-nighters on the pretext of sleeping well the next day, a word I have seldom kept. I can do a lot better than this I know, and you know that I try now.
We've had our bitter moments, puberty is not sweet to all.
I am sorry I tried to mould you so much. Please just think of it as teenage tantrums, a very lame attempt at 'fixing' things that were just fine. We both know that puberty was not exactly kind to us, but the comparison I drew was totally my bad, shouldn't have. And you have my deepest gratitude for not giving up on me when I really wanted to cut off chunks of you and replace it with the ideas of 'perfect' I saw being praised, till I realised the great role photoshop plays.
You always fought back, even with all the lack of support that you got from me.
And it has helped. I don't know what came together to form those optimistic chemicals, but there was always a small thought that I'm not too bad after all. Of course, it took just days for it to topple back to square one, but that small ray of positivity that you created, wherever that came from, there's so little I can say to thank you.
You've added so many years to my life and life to my years, without me asking for it.
Which is saying a lot. The heart kept beating, the brain kept up the work (I think) no matter what I did or did not do. I can hold my niece and feel her little fingers twirl around mine, I can lay next to my mother, and be taken back to memories that are filled with so much love, I can taste so many wonderful things, all without asking. It's wonderful to have you- all fit and fine.
Thank you for letting me be me.
You really are my ticket to happiness, and I'm sorry I don't make you feel that way often enough. So this is the wiser me saying this, you're perfect for me. I probably know every mole and every scar I have, and maybe not always, but I do love them. Thanks for letting the nagging, complaining me, exist. I saw a lot of illness that I wish I could unsee and pray that they get a cure soon. Thank you for staying strong uptil now, and make life look a lot easier.
I might not always say or behave like it, but without a fit you, my life would be a hellhole. I need you in my life, I need you for life. And though, I might not be able to stick to it each and every day, but I promise to accept you a little more, or at least try. I will make a conscious effort to not compare you, and I will actually try taking better care of you.