Dec 17, 2016 at 17:36

Don’t Feel Like Partying Anymore? No, You Haven’t Become Anti-Social. You’ve Hit Social Menopause

by Era Tangar

The party animal in me was born when I was in college. Going out. Making friends. Making more friends. Dating people. Dancing to loud music under the glittery lights of the bars that smelt like lemon as alcohol ran through the blood of me. Missing an after-party was the death of a social life. 

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Then, one day, it all came to a stand-still, suddenly. I found myself standing on the edge of a really high cliff looking down at all that I was doing along with my clique. Was I becoming anti-social? Was it all a part of growing up? No, I just realised, I had hit social menopause.

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Yes that is a word, two words to be precise, that perfectly explains my state of being. I know a lot of people like me, who are going through the same. There's nothing wrong with feeling this way, it is perfectly normal. 

You are going through social menopause if you have any of these symptoms.

Your idea of fun has changed.

Partying till wee hours of the morning, is no longer a bodily urge for you. In fact you rather sit home and snuggle with a book and a hot cup of coffee. All things you once regarded as fun, are no longer fun to you anymore. Last minute plans are not cool. Your friends are already beginning to call you a 'ditcher'. 

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Social gatherings are a turn off. 

So, you’re sitting on the bar counter of a shady cheap bar along with all your friends engaging in a very mindless banter and you’re just like — "OMG! Get me out of here". I hear you.

This is the prime symptom that rings a bell in all of our heads. A bell that is annoying and scary at the same time. You question yourself. You ask yourself why is it becoming so hard to fit in? But, the fact of the matter remains, you’re still the cool person that you are even if you don’t like a particular setting or you don’t feel like engaging in absolutely useless shit that your friends talk about when they are drunk.

YOU ARE NOT OLD. You are just, well, you.

Small talk is not for you, anymore.

Meeting new people excites all of us except of course the ones who hate it. (I personally, don’t understand that bunch but their choices are none of my business.) This symptom, although, highlights meeting random strangers in an inebriated state.

“Just why are you trying to have a conversation with me?” — your head whenever you go out in a social gathering.

You are possessive about your sleep.

Wait a second before you judge me. THIS IS REAL. This happens to some humans and they follow a routine. For some people, routine is the only thing that keeps them sane. So now you have started waking up early and you feel like you don’t have a life. I understand.

But look at it like this, you have started focusing on healthy habits, started taking care of yourself and stopped doing things just because everyone else is doing them. This took a great deal away from you but what it brought along was a more meaningful journey. Aren’t you absolutely loving it?

You are sometimes anxious, irritable, but hang in there, there are many like you.

Some days you feel meh, some days you’re absolutely ecstatic about your life choices. Your anxiety, frustration and hair fall is understandable. Treat these feelings like a guest in your house. Sometimes, a guest we don’t like comes over but you have to get them tea and cookies even if you really want them to just leave. So, let those feelings be, they will leave sooner or later.

Fun fact: This symptom is common even in people who haven’t hit the phase you’re in right now.

Craving to get into your pajamas ASAP.

Pajamasm before orgasm. (Well maybe not, but you get it, right?)

This is the most compelling symptom of them all. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, whoever you are interacting with, pajamas are on. your. mind.

Honestly, you are just tired. Things that were fun aren’t fun any more.

But, social menopause has nothing to do with being anti-social.

  • Just the way you have started loving early morning yoga, grocery shopping, cooking by yourself and resting, you also, take out time for the ones you love.
  • Sometimes, your body just ridicules the idea of going out but you know it means something to someone you care about and hence, you go.
  • The best part about this state is that you become more productive — doing more things, learning new things and more. 
  • Where earlier, when you felt like a machine, now, your mind feels human again. You start finding peace in the things that have been deemed as boring. Your party time gets over when everyone else’s started. You are slowly becoming a milk before a drink person.

And guess what, it is just fine. You are not alone and this isn’t all that a bad of a deal anyway.

Perhaps, not fearing on missing out is the key. The city is just as alive in the mornings as it is at night. We aren’t living any less, just differently from the majority and that doesn’t put a stamp of us having less fun than anyone else. 

Feature Image source: Charlotte Trounce

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