While the entire world is talking about the importance of women empowerment and the importance of consent, there are still certain people who think that a woman's 'no' means 'yes' or a 'maybe'. There are still some people who believe that constant nagging (read harassment) will make the girl fall for the guy because hey, you gotta appreciate the perseverance! These are the little things that encourage and reinforce misogyny and sexual harassment. And sadly, there still exists some handful of people who believe in this.
One such gentleman is Nick Savoy, who recently wrote a column for Men's Fitness magazine, titled HOW TO TURN A 'NO' INTO A 'YES'. Let me just say that this article is outrightly worthless, misogynistic, and demeaning for men and women alike.
Though the article has been pulled off the website, we still managed to find an excerpt for you. This is what it reads:
Every guy gets rejected sometimes. Even the best dating coaches and pick-up artists in the world. What separates the men from the boys is how you handle rejection – and how quickly you can turn things around.
In this article, I’m going to share some proprietary techniques for turning a "no" into a "yes": 1) at the bar, 2) on a date, 3) in bed, and 4) in a relationship.
At the bar
You approach her, give her your best opening line, but she wasn’t having it. What now?
One of the more pervasive myths about top Love Systems coaches is that women are always blown away by our presence, non-verbal communication, body language, flirtatious openers, etc. That’s not true. Love Systems instructors and clients have to work for it just like anyone else – the difference is that we have proven shortcuts to success.
So, if the girl isn’t into you on your first approach, try one of these things:
Here are two points from Savoy's How To Turn A No Into A Yes:
1. Plow ahead anyway. A client I was working with picked up a Victoria’s Secret model a couple weeks ago this way. She kept brushing him off, giving one-word answers, and so on, for about ten minutes, before she started to get responsive and interested. Later, he asked her why she chose him out of all of the men who approached her that night, and she said, “Because you didn’t give up too easily.”
According to him, if a girl rejects your advances at a bar 'plow ahead anyway', ignore her 'no' because she doesn't really mean it, and continue harassing her until and unless you score.
You've just helped in making potential stalkers out of gentlemen. You're trying to reinstate that women are trophies that men just have to win. You've confirmed it to men that if they can't score a random woman in a bar or any other public place, they should be called names like sissy. In one go, you've not only degraded women, but also men and none of us appreciates it.
2. Deal with it the same way you would any other test – heighten it to absurdity and make a joke of it. Let’s say you’re at a bar or club or somewhere where it’s unreasonable for a woman to get upset if a man approaches to make conversation. You walk up to her, but before you can open your mouth, she says, “Move along, dork." You can respond right back with, “Oh, I love this game. Um, um... OK. You’re a spoiled brat. OK, your turn." Or turn to your friend and say something like: “I love this girl. She’s like the Molly Ringwald character..."
Mr. Savoy, you really need to re-check the definition of 'sexual harassment'. Let us tell you what it means.
harassment (typically of a woman) in a workplace, or other professional or social situation, involving the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks.
Clear now? If you think that we women find it cute when you pass lewd comments at us, then you're clearly living in a bubble that needs to be popped soon, real soo. If anything, such remarks are disgusting and disrespectful and we do not appreciate them at all. We value our self-esteem and dignity and do not believe in compromising with it.
Thank you for totally nullifying the importance of meaningful conversations, the whole 'getting to know each other' phase and suggesting that men only want one thing, to get into our pants. You've made men appear in a bad light. (Men, are you reading this?) You've absolutely validated the fact that real relationships, based on trust and respect, are a myth. Man is a sexual predator, that's all!
Even though you've been disrespectful in so many ways by writing this article, and some might consider you as a threat to humans, we're not as cold as you are. We hope you get the hang of it soon. We'll be happy to help!