When we talk about motherhood, images of love and affection and cute babies with drool flash in our heads. Most mothers swear by motherhood and how the experience is so enriching. But the truth is, that the world evolves constantly and people evolve with it. Many young people grow up to shoulder parenthood like their parents did before them in the expected pattern and find they aren’t ready for it. Taking care of another human is a huge responsibility and sometimes you find that you weren’t quite ready to pick up that kind of burden. Many want more from life, they want freedom, they want to travel and not be tied down in one place, while many just aren’t suited to being parents.
And that’s okay. Humans are capable of feeling a vast range of complex emotions and feeling maternal might not be one of them. But that doesn’t make them bad people, just confused, unsure people who aren’t ready for this kind of responsibility. These Reddit users poured out their feelings and frustration about hating being mothers. It isn’t easy being a parent and often when you resent having a child, additional feelings of guilt weigh you down. These users however, received a lot of love and support from other users and are working towards making things better.
My daughter is six. I am 31, my husband is 33. We have been married since I was 23 and he was 25.
I really, really, really hate being a mother.
– Anonymous
This is a throwaway.
Throwaway, because it would destroy my husband to ever know how I feel. I love him and our child very much. More than anything that I have ever encountered. They make me smile many times daily. I am filled with love and overcome with protective urges whenever I lay eyes on them.
I’m pregnant and I feel like I have no business parenting my other kids, let alone bringing in another one. I am fucking broken today. Yelling at my kids. Sitting on my hands because I just want to slap the fuck out of them. I want to tell them to shut the fuck up and just go away.
The title pretty much sums it up. My fiance and I planned for this baby, she is 3 months old now but she has been nothing but a disappointment since the day she was born. I don’t feel depressed, I still enjoy doing things I did before she was born. I just don’t enjoy taking care of her. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t want to harm her or myself, I would never do that. I don’t hate her. I just don’t feel any love towards her. I do all the things I’m supposed to – I feed her, I change her, I bathe her, I hold her when she cries – she is never neglected, and I don’t enjoy a single second of it. Every time she cries I just think I made a horrible mistake by having her. Even when she is happy and being all cute it is boring and I’d rather do other things. It is not rewarding or worth it in any way. I don’t really know what to do at this point, it’s not like there is any way to reverse this. Anyone had any similar experience? Does it get better? Is there any way I could force myself to love her?
I have a 9-month-old baby girl and I love her very much. That being said, so far I hate being a mother, and it goes beyond post-partum and the occasional longing for my old life. I spend all day just waiting for her to nap or go to bed so I can have time for myself. I’ve read articles and this is more common than I thought, but I have no one to talk to about it. I’ve made comments to my husband and all he does is look at me with disappointment. I’m afraid to tell anyone else in my family, for fear of the negative judgement. I do get breaks once in a while and I would love to work part time again (I’m at stay at home mom currently), but haven’t found anything that fits.
I hate my life. I wake up every morning absolutely dreading the day ahead.
My baby is a beautiful 4-month-old. But everyday I dread getting out of bed. I’m a SAHM. I didn’t know being a mum would be this horrible and make me feel so trapped. I’ve always known that I want a family. Me and hubby were trying for 6 months. On the 6th month I realised I wasn’t ready and there is a lot I want to do with my life still. I’m 23 and my hubby is 28. But by the time I realised I wasn’t ready, I was already pregnant. I don’t believe in abortions. I accepted it and tried to stay happy. But it’s been 4 months and my mood just keeps getting worse. All I can think about is how close me and my hubby used to be… How much time we had for each other….How much freedom. The world was my oyster. And now I have a baby and I feel like I’m drowning. Sometimes I tell myself, one day he will move out and I will get my freedom back. But I won’t get my youth back, will I? I love my baby. But I resent the timing. I feel too young to be saddled at home.
Many users since then have moved on instead of making it worse for the child, while others have learnt to accept things in time with therapy and support.
Design Credit: Rohit Jakhu
