A woman is shamed for wearing short clothes, for being too friendly, for having assets she was naturally endowed with, and for either being too fat or too thin. If the trends are to be believed, the day is not far when a woman will be shamed for being too much, well, like a woman.
VJ Bani, who became popular after her participation in Roadies and then as a VJ for MTV recently opened up about how she was shamed for being 'too muscular' for a girl. She took to Instagram to talk about how she was constantly pestered with comments like, 'You're not a girly girl if you lift weights', 'Girls should only do cardio, lifting is for guys', 'So what steroids are you on' and 'That's way too much muscle.. For a woman'
Her Instagram post, where she talks about how she struggled with the haters, is empowering and something every woman, and man must read!
This is what her post says:
'Lifting weights will make you look manly'I
'You're not a girly girl if you lift weights' 'I don't lift weights because I just want to 'tone up'' 'Girls should only do cardio, lifting is for guys' 'So what steroids are you on' 'That's way too much muscle.. For a woman' All of the above and so much more.
I've heard it all. And not once because I actually cared enough to ask, 'hey, what do *you* think of *my* body?'. I never entered the gym because of what people said I 'should/ ought to/ must' look like. I went in there to get strong, to be active, to be healthy, to sweat = to feel better, and more ME.
I can't remember the last time the thought of 'will this be attractive to so and so' crossed my mind in relation to myself - let alone to me lifting weight. It doesn't happen. I love me so much and that's all that matters, I am so happy (blame all the endorphins) doing what I do day in and out that all else is tuned out.
This is something I've gotten better at accepting and allowing day by day. That's why you will always hear people say 'it's not just physical, it's so much more MENTAL' because to get to where you want to go, you have to look within and really be true to yourself and know that yes, this is what I'm about. This is what matters, this puts me in alignment and makes me a more joyful happy productive being. And guess what? You'll end up inspiring and encouraging and being that source for other people along the path too.
I don't go around telling people they should eat healthier or lift or try to lose weight, you do you. I'll do me. If someone asks for help I will always do what I can, I recognise the quest - but you need to recognise whether the desire really is there in you or not.
Why else do you think we don't see more people walking around with their Tupperware containers looking hench af? Because, if your hearts not in it, no matter how much you try - you'll never get there.
Cold hard honest truth.
Just like cold hard iron, work and discipline.