What amused me was how makers stuck to the most banal form of Bollywood film where ladka meets ladki , and still thought they could make it fly. Can’t remember it well enough? We can help. Here goes…

We’re introduced to our heroine (Ameesha Patel) who speaks in whispers and breathes heavily in emotionally heightened situations.

There’s also the A-hole brother Raman whose nickname might as well have been Mad Max ‘cos he’s generally mad, and his volume is always on max.

Meanwhile, Heroine’s sister-in-law (who looked like the only sane character in the crime family) shows us how effed up she is in her intro scene.

*Enter jock from engineering college who heads a football into the goal-post*

The committed defender trying to stop the ball with his hands. Such a keeper!

Look at him piercing his way through the defence.

Even Maradona and Messi had to loosen their ties and unbutton their collars.

Hero meets heroine on a road.

She’s dressed to attend a Sooraj Barjataya sangeet.

Even as he saves her from goons trying to shoot her down, he cannot help but be irritated by her ritual of heavy breathing during tensed situations.

And just like that they are smitten by each other.

So much so that hero shows up at heroine’s place for Navratri. And they flirt with songs which have lyrics like these:

“Indaru pindaru teri chalti kamar ha lattu baandhu, uspe nazar ka pattu…hil gayi dharti yaara maan hi jhatke”

Hero assaults the girl with cheesy lines like.

And heroine totally turns in her bed

Daddy dearest announces her engagement with his BFF’s son

Hero is so pissed…

…that he decides to dance at their engagement.

Hero elopes with his girl. And when Mad Max comes looking for her…

Heroine’s dad emerges and announces that his daughter will marry the hero.

*Applause*

Plot twist: He’s lying.

Heroine’s dad beats the shit out of the hero.

But he stands there in his macho pose.

And then he beats the shit out of everyone.

And as he finds his way to the love of his life…

Plot twist: Heroine has already OD’d on sleeping pills.

Heroine’s dad realises his mistake.

Hero picks up heroine with his well-oiled arms and takes her to the hospital.

Everyone agrees hero is best.

Happily ever after.

Fin.