We’re not saying you work in a toxic organization. We’re saying that statistically, it’s hard to believe you’re not. There’s something about an excruciatingly intolerable workspace that tests your nerves 500 times per second while you calculate whether waiting for an appraisal is even worth it.
On days like these, when you’re just counting the moments until you’re out, and another importantly useless meeting pops up half an hour before your logging-off time, it may do you good to be prepared with some essentials. We have written them out to save you time –
1. Carry a bottle of electrolytes cos you’re gonna lose a lot of salts crying, and one gotta keep oneself hydrated
2. Carry a notebook and a pen because you’ll want to write the ACTUAL point you’d be making but get rudely interrupted mid-sentence
Remember: Nobody cares about your perspective. Nobody cares about you.
3. Avoid wearing your wristwatch and/or all sorts of time-telling equipment at all costs. Your manager is not gonna cut short a useless meeting just so you can go home
Even when you’re looking at your phone, just please avoid looking at the time.
4. Take your laptop and start taking minutes of the meeting in the meeting itself because you know that job is gonna land on your tender shoulder
5. Let everything else on your desk be organised and packed in the bag all ready to run away the moment you step out of that hellhole of a meeting. You don’t want to spend another second in the strangling walls
6. Remember to breathe. You want to make it out alive
7. Don’t forget your cellphone. You’d need it to bitch about the meeting with your office bestie
8. And finally, enter with a reality check that nobody matters in this organization, so you shouldn’t pay two scents to people you know for a few days more
This is written under the assumption you’ll run the first thing after appraisal. And if you think you won’t be able to survive till then, just run without looking back.