Dear Ranbir-Deepika, You’ve Permanently Ruined Vacations For All The Youth In The Country. Thanks

Think about it…

When was the last time you went on a vacation with friends to an exotic location, got lucky with a group of hot, single and obviously dumb girls en-route your journey, got into shit, got out of it but ultimately came back home with the love of your life whom you happened to meet along the way. And then at the end of it all exclaimed, “What happens in XYZ, stays in XYZ!”

Never! Right? Well it won’t happen ever either. You know why?

Because you’re no Ranbir Kapoor. And there’s absolutely no Deepika Padukone waiting for you out there. And most importantly, you got your fucking trip organised by TripAdvisor and not Imtiaz Ali.

Every homo-sapien who has ever had a friend circle in his/her ’20s would know that a real vacation plan goes through the following 3 phases:

Stage I: Planning a weekend trip over Whatsapp every Friday (preferably clubbed with a gazetted holiday).

Stage II: Aiming for Manali and settling for Rishikesh because there has to be at least one friend who’s saving for his/her mother’s operation/sister’s marriage/ ex’s birthday.

Stage III: Catching the last bus after days of convincing and backing out.

And when we finally survive the three stages and get down to finally boarding the bus/train to our destination, we think ‘Fuck everything! We are the world’s best wolf pack that can deal with anything and we are going to have the time of our lives. ‘

Because haven’t Ranbir and Deepika taught us just that… Erm except our realities are just a wee bit different!

Here’s how Ranbir-Deepika ruined vacations for the youth of the country:

1. Expectation: Running into an old crush at the platform.

Reality:

2. Expectation: A little DDLJ moment while getting in.

Reality:

3. Expectation: Flirting with hot co-passengers in the adjacent compartment.

Reality:

4. Expectation: Exotic sea side destination.

Reality:

5. Expectation: Royal 5-star accommodation.

Reality:

6. Expectation: Surviving a mountain trip in your favourite half-sleeve jacket.

Reality:

7. Expectation: Rule the party with your Badtameez Dil moves.

Reality:

8. Expectation: Run into and get out of shit like a boss!

Reality:

10. Expectation: Make out with a foreigner, preferably Russian!

Reality:

11. Expectation: One of the friends suddenly turns super-hot on the trip.

Reality:

12. Expectation: Impress the girl with your bullshit world travel plans.

Reality:

13. Expectation: Proposing to a girl in a crowded cafeteria.

Reality:

14. Expectation: And obviously by the end of the trip, kiss her.

Reality:

15. Expectation: Say at the top of your voice… What happens in Corsica, stays in Corsica!

Reality:

So dear Deepika and Ranbir,for the love of all that is holy, stop taking Indian youth for a ride!