Satisfying humankind is tough; God knows how Santa has been managing all these years. I sympathise with him. More so because I am becoming him for the sake of this bizarre piece. So, being the Santa Claus I am today, here’s what I’d like to gift these 10 celebs keeping 2022 in mind.
1. Alia Bhatt – A Thesaurus so that she speaks literally any other word instead of ‘Shivaaa’ in her next film.
2. Aamir Khan – An apology card on behalf of everybody who regretted missing Laal Singh Chaddha in theatres, being an honest and heartwarming remake it was.
3. Sima Taparia – Another meeting with Seema Sajdeh where she gets called out for her regressive bias.
4. Kanye West – A duct tape so that he shuts his mouth before voicing bigoted statements in public.
Read more: Kanye West ‘Loves A Lot Of Things About Hitler’ & We Just Don’t Know How To React Anymore
5. Ranveer Singh – Peppermint tea so that he calms down before charging on people unaware of his hyperactive mode.
Remembering Bear Grylls!
6. Ayan Mukerji – Scriptwriters so that he doesn’t take up the adventure of writing dialogues himself.
7. Elon Musk – A mirror so that he sees himself before he tweets random shiz.
And Twitter polls mean nothing in real world!
8. Akshay Kumar – A DVD of his GOLD films so that he knows we’re missing the old him.
9. Shefali Shah – A 100x increase in quality scripts so that we keep seeing more of her in films and shows.
10. Shah Rukh Khan – A Crown cos it’s high time we make his title official: The King of Bollywood.
If you were a Santa, what would you gift these celebrities?