August 04, 2015 at 01:40 PM
Some time ago, the country was rocked by the mother of all bans, in the form of an all inclusive crackdown on websites not just streaming porn but even showing anything deemed slightly objectionable by the Kim Jong Uns of our country. And then there was a beef ban. And now some people want to ban a person for some Snapchat video he made. I mean, if they don’t like it, then it’s got to go, right? And since anything and everything is now ban-able, there’s a whole other list of mindless things that they should probably ban as well. Because it offends me.
Here’s an extensive list of things India should ban pronto!
1. Ban bean bags. They make fart noises Source – designswan 2. Ban colourful Macbook covers, because why hide what you truly are? (evil) 3. Ban naming your dog Snoopy Source – freewords 4. Ban naming your son Mukesh 5. Ban driving below the speed limit in Delhi, it’s unnatural Source – greendiary 6. Ban ‘Save Water’ campaigns Nobody cares. 7. Ban walking around with shirt collars up, in public and in private Better still, ban collared shirts. Source – flickr 8. Ban toothy smiles, they exude false charm 9. Ban police checks after 11 PM Source – nyt 10. Nobody should be allowed to drink in moderation 11. Ban the ban on illegal substances 12. Ban doing surya namaskaar in public You think you’re better than us? Source – indiatimes 13. Ban any music apart from Rock n Roll Arrest those who listen to Hip Hop and Jazz. 14. Ban Asaram Bapu… from existence. Source – wishesh 15. Ban debating whether Mumbai or Delhi is better Both suck 16. Ban white chocolate Yuck. 17. Ban milk muchhis Reminds me of lukewarm Bournvita. Also, I don’t like milk. Source – cdnds 19. Ban mosquitoes 20. Ban taking photos of your food Name and shame those pricks Source – kis925 21. Ban being passionate about travelling Airports and railway stations make me sick. 22. Ban kissing with your mouth open I’m single and I don’t want anybody rubbing their happy relationships in my face. 23. Ban giving money to beggars Just. Source – restonhomeless 24. Ban following your dreams I don’t want anybody to be successful. 25. Ban becoming a doctor or a lawyer Because I don’t want to listen to my parents. 26. Ban taking the metro to office I don’t like metros. Or going to office. Source – economictimes 27. Ban toys that look like penises FuckingMinions. Source – dhresource 28. Ban ugly people 29. Ban jeans in colours other than black or blue Source – menfash 30. Ban white eyeliner 31. Ban self respect It breeds morons. 32. Ban patriotism It also breeds morons. Source – apostleindia 33. Ban paying for stuff 34. Ban Tinder If I don’t find a match, nobody finds a match. Source – zimbio 35. Ban emoticons with hearts on them 36. Ban self help books They didn’t help me. Source – postcardsfrom 37. Ban pooping It’s a waste of time 38. Ban angry aunties Source – brit-asian 39. Ban getting old 40. Ban reading Harry Potter It’s blasphemy. 41. Ban sharing song lyrics as FB statuses Source – the10things 42. Ban the ‘Humans of New York’ FB page 43. Ban chai without milk 44. Ban giving advice to kids, they don’t listen anyway 45. Ban children below the age of 14 They’re of no use. Source – shahirramplan 46. Ban repaying loans 47. Ban in-laws 48. Ban talking about the weather Source – saviosen 49. Ban the concept of ‘God’ 50. Ban singing ‘ Kiss From A Rose ‘ by Seal at karaoke Source – wsrkfm There’s no actualbasis for any of these really, but that’s how the country seems to be running anyway, so let’s go with it. If I don’t like it, I want it banned, just like the government. 
