Do you ever feel an inexplicable rage every time you see someone reading Shobhaa De’s column in the newspaper or quoting the same old lines by Tolkien every second day? Well that’s a good thing, because despite the tremendous marketing campaigns of these parties, you’ve stayed true to your own self ideas.
With the sheer amount of literature in the world, it baffles you that people don’t branch out more and read something different. Here’s some stuff you’ll connect with if you’re a literary snob.
1. You hit ‘attending’ on Facebook for every literary festival or event, regardless of whether you go or not.
2. You consider people who read Chetan Bhagat savages who are beyond human redemption.
3. While people show off their gadgets, you take pride in your book collection that is neatly stacked on your precious book shelf for everyone to admire.
4. Reading from a Kindle in PDF format is akin to literary sacrilege and you would never be caught dead with one.
5. All those who think libraries are boring places are lesser beings according to you.
6. You haven’t gone through the bestseller’s list in a decade at least.
7. You constantly berate people for not knowing a certain book but secretly enjoy that elitist feeling.
8. Folding or crumpling even a page of a book results in you flying into a murderous rage, subsiding only when presented with more books.
9. You keep a detailed account of who has borrowed which book of yours and for how long. Forgive, but never forget.
10. Buying fake print books for 100 bucks? Don’t even.
11. You constantly update your Facebook status with book quotes that are purposely vague, because you’re deep and stuff.
12. Books are better than the movies. Period. Like, no argument.
13. You also hate how suddenly everyone’s quoting Charles Bukowski. I mean, do you even know what “Find what you love and let it kill you” means? Cos I don’t.
14. You try and find the tiniest similarities between yourself and your favourite authors, especially the grimy ones.
15. Your definition of an ideal partner is someone who is a voracious reader but knows just a little less about books than you.