Love takes time, mutual respect, admiration, attraction, and a never-ending discussion about what to eat and what to watch. What it doesn’t take are illogical, socially-constructed barriers of religion, ethnicity, caste, etc.
And it’s the love stories that break these barriers that become our modern-day fairytales. Stories like the kind that Instagram account, India Love Project, shares.
Founded by Priya Ramani, Samar Halarnkar & Niloufer Venkatraman, the account shares personal accounts of people who married for love – the reason that ultimately, matters the most:
BAKHTAWAR MASTER & S VENKATRAMAN
Bakhtawar and Venkatraman gave up their family’s approval for marriage, but not their individual identities or religious belief. The two raised three children and taught them to be proud of both of their identities. Married for 30 years, they continue to support inter-faith unions.
Throughout their long partnership of 31 years, each followed their own religion. They refused to attend a wedding if they knew dowry was part of the deal. And they fervently supported other inter-faith marriages and adoptions; several of these unions and celebrations took place right in our home.
NATASHA BADHWAR & MIRZA AFZAL BEG
Afzal has a new story to share, every time someone asks him about how he and Natasha met. But the love the two share, for each other, and their families, including the army of 3 children, 1 dog, and 4 cats, feels as old as time itself.
My father likes him very much and complains to him when I don’t pick up his phone. His father and I giggle together because no one else appreciates our jokes, but we know they are super funny. I married Afzal because he has twinkling eyes and listens to my long-winded stories. He probably married Natasha yani ki me because I am sexy as hell though he’s been too shy to ever let me know this.
MARIA MANJIL & SANDEEP JAIN
What started as friendship turned into a love that had the power to fight against family’s resistance, never-ending ‘snarky comments’, and even, different food choices. What emerged is a union that has lasted for over 20 years.
I saw his kind heart, gentle demeanour, intellectual compatibility, and deep affection for me. I couldn’t let him go just because he prayed to a different god and spoke a different language.
4. SUBHADRA KHAPERDE & RAHUL BANERJEE
After 25 years of marriage, these two social crusaders who together renounced both, caste and religion, have only one source of conflict – how regularly, or rather irregularly, does Rahul take a shower.
In the course of our struggles for social justice we fell in love. There was fierce opposition to our relationship from both families, so in 1995 we got hitched in court. We have lived and worked together since. The major discord between us is that I bathe on an average only once a week as part of my crusade to save water!
5. MAY PEREIRA & YUSUF SHEIKH
May and Yusuf fell in love when they were 16 but it took them 14 years to gather the courage to get married. As fate would have it, their marriage was short-lived but their love, timeless.
Barely 12 years after they were married, Yusuf passed away from a sudden heart attack. They were together, as man and wife, for fewer years than they had waited to get married to each other. They left me the choice to take up any religion I wanted. And even as a child I knew, through them, that my religion would be humanity, that I would choose not to choose.
6. RUPA & RAZI ABDI
Married for 30 years, Rupa and Razi, who celebrate Eid and Diwali with their two children, proved their relatives wrong and their love right. Because love doesn’t always have to be difficult, even if society may make it out to be.
For me, it was love at first sight. After wooing him for a month, I proposed and he gave in. My mother-in-law was a humble, religious woman who hadn’t received any formal education. During my first visit to her house, while Razi’s younger relatives were getting all worked up over the fact that Razi had married a Hindu girl, my mother-in-law’s reaction was simple. ‘‘If Razi likes her, then I like her”, she said.
SALMA & TM VEERARAGHAV
It was a phone call that introduced them to each other, and a love that gave them the courage to brave the first meeting with each other’s family. The two signed the knot by signing the court document. Years later, their child is the one who benefitted the most – he gets to enjoy the best of both worlds.
We were married at the court at the old collectorate in Gheekanta. Both families were in attendance, but the ritual was a court document, the priest was the magistrate and the god, a photo of the Mahatma on the wall. Hindu or Muslim isn’t as important as curd rice versus mutton biryani! I remain vegetarian, she enjoys her mutton and the product of our love gets the best of both worlds. Ainesh is a Hindu or Muslim, depending on what’s cooking.
These are just a few of the many stories on the account that serve as a beautiful, subtle, but brilliant reminder of how, the best way to fight against hate and fascism, is to choose love.
All images and quotes have been taken from the Instagram account, India Love Project.