We don’t know who needs to hear this, but what’s more crucial than sex itself are the moments leading up to it and, most importantly, the moments that follow immediately after. The foreplay builds the excitement, sex satisfies it, and well, consider the aftermath as your test of character. How you behave right after you climax can actually change how your partner registers the moment. You could either give them a memory to cherish or leave them absolutely aghast of your existence.
And while we hope you don’t need the reminder on how not to be jerks, there are things you could (hopefully) unintentionally do that may ruin everything. So, please, no matter what, don’t do these 8 things right after sex –
1. Ask your partner when they’re leaving
No, please don’t. You’ve just shared an intimate moment with them. Let the two of you process it. You can’t be like, ‘Okay, so, we’re done, now get out.’
2. Say, “Oh, are you done?”
This hits like instant feedback of failure that could make them question their existence, and add on to the performance anxiety later on.
3. Lay there silently – clueless and awkward
No, please. Don’t be lying there counting stars, hoping to pass time in awkward silences broken only by fast breaths. TBH, it’ll only make every second unbearable until either of you say the worst thing possible.
4. Say the wrong name
There’s nothing saving this; you’re a terrible person. Period.
5. Say, “I guess the condom broke”
Rather say it the INSTANT you think this happens. Please save your partner a month’s worth of horror.
6. Forget their existence
The two of you’ve had sex and the two of you were equally involved in it. So, when it’s done, don’t forget that there are still the two of you on the bed.
7. Ask, “So, you’re bringing your friend next time?”
Horrific is an understatement.
8. Say, “I’ve had better”
Seriously, comparison?
9. Break Up
Breaking up on their birthday? Yeah, this is an equivalent of that.
If you’re wondering what you should be doing instead, it’s – A) Hug, cuddle, whisper sweet somethings, do anything but just acknowledge they’re right there and B) Get cleaned up as soon as you can.