Peter Quill. We liked you in Guardians of the Galaxy. 

Nay, we loved you.

In Guardians of the Galaxy 2, you stood against and fought your own father, because of what you believed was right. 

Hey, we even laughed when the biggest possible weapon you could imagine of, was Pac-Man. That was hilarious. Moreover, it was quintessentially you.

But man, you are a grade A intergalactic asshole.

Seriously, what the hell were you thinking? 

When even ego-maniacal geniuses like Tony Stark and Dr. Strange were willing to work together to stop the freaking apocalypse, what was your problem?

Even the guy who said, “Why is Gamora?” had more common sense than you did.

And he thought he was invisible because he is freaking slow! 

Couldn’t you have waited a minute? Like, literally a fucking minute! You could have helped take off Thanos’ golden glove and then taken him to the cleaners. 

Heck, there was even a 17-year-old kid way in over his head, trying to help save the universe and even he held his shit together.

And all you could think about was what happened to your maybe-girlfriend. 

You were willing to blow her fucking head off to protect a secret she never told you about. In fact, you did shoot her.

What happened in a span of hours that you thought was different?

And that’s what makes it worse. Because we loved you. And you took everything away from us. Everything.

That one stupid, split-second decision cost us almost all the Avengers and all the Guardians but the rabbit (and half of all life in the universe but that’s besides that point).

And after all that, you had the gall to say this?

So yeah, fuck you Star-Lord. That’s a dumbass name, anyway.

PS: And yeah, Footloose isn’t that great a movie. And Kevin Bacon plays the bad guy for almost 3 decades after that.