If you've ever been in close, long-term contact with a baby, you know that all their cuteness is just a cover. The erratic behaviour, the endless demands, the non-stop effin' poop... are all proof that babies are about as douchey as humans get. So we're here to encourage one and all to take a break from fawning over their undeniable cuteness, and imagine just how insufferable they'd all be if they could speak to us - the peasant adults that dote over them like besotted fools.

Lo and behold, the real, presumably douchey, truth about the tiny humans among us.

Don't let their irresistible cuteness fool you. These tiny, delightful monsters mean business!

Adorable designs by Disha Bhanot