Now playing: Nothing Else Matters By Metallica
As a teenager, I was always under the impression that people normally get married around the age of 22 to 25. LOL, right?
No, this is not about the people who actually do get married by then. Because if you did, good on you but this one’s not about you. Wait for your turn.
At 16, I was extremely confident that I’ll get married by 25, have babies by 28 and be absolutely content with my life by 30.
Then adulthood happened.
I grew up and realised that life isn’t what I thought it would be. Leave aside getting married, even finding someone to fall in love with is a challenging task.
It’s not like I didn’t try. I dated throughout college, got my heart broken a couple of times and listened to sad songs during rainy nights. Don’t smirk at me, you know we’ve all done that.
But as soon as college was over and I walked into the next chapter of my life single, I won’t deny the fact that I was a little worried.
After watching my older sister get married to her college sweetheart, I was under the impression that I have to follow the same pattern. But my fate definitely did not see me going that way.
And I started the rest of my life after getting over with being a student, on my own. Single.
Let’s just say that the first couple of years were pretty confusing. While trying to land the perfect job, I was also desperately lying to land the perfect guy.
Yes, I have no shame in admitting that because I was young and stupid. I thought that my professional success and my love life needed to be at par with each other.
Both were failing.
I struggled and struggled to find a balance between the two and after a few failed attempts in both, I managed to land a great job.
Then it hit me. The one thing missing from my life was that I didn’t have anything that I was even a tiny bit passionate about. And my new job gave me that chance.
I’m not saying I’m a workaholic but my professional satisfaction definitely made my personal life easier. And as I had the chance to meet more and more people who were older than me and single just like me, a realisation dawned on me.
Enlightenment took its own sweet time but it finally changed my approach towards life.
After seeing multiple colleagues, new friends and people I came across on a daily basis, I realised that finding someone to love is an important part of one's life but it's not the only thing.
And the idea that we need to find a companion before we hit 30 is utter nonsense.
There is no hard-end rule. And it is definitely not sad. There is nothing upsetting about being single at 30. In fact, it’s a very liberating feeling.
How do I know this? A very dear friend of mine who just turned 30 is the perfect example of the harmony I'm talking about. She has her own place, a kickass career, plenty of peace of mind and a lot of time to invest in herself.
I've also started enjoying my own company. I don't feel the need to be constantly around somebody to validate my emotions. I have happily discovered that I can deal with all my emotions and feelings on my own and if that doesn't mean being free, I don't know what does.
People often mistake my wanting to be alone for loneliness. It is anything but loneliness. There's a certain type of satisfaction in being alone and I've gladly achieved it.
It's not like I'm a loner who avoids romantic endeavours all the time. I do date from time to time but I almost never feel the desire to have something long-term. For me, every new date is an adventure and I like being on this roller coaster ride.
Being on my own also significantly contributes to how much I've discovered my own self.
My mind and my body. I never knew 'self-love' was so important and so exciting. To be honest, it's way better than when you're with another person. TRUST ME. (Wink, wink)
I might be quite a few years away from turning 30, but now when I think about being alone, it doesn’t hit me like it used to. Instead, I fantasize about how if I keep doing well professionally too, I would be able to afford my own place and live on my own.
For someone, who has always been shacking up with either a best friend, a boyfriend or a random flatmate, this idea is so tempting to me, it’s not even funny.
So, I'm living my life in an individual blissful bubble and I don't plan on bursting it any time soon. My mind and my body have never been more at peace with each other and I wouldn't have it any other way.
So, the next time Bua ji asks me when am I getting married, I'm going to hold my head high and tell her that I'm not. Not right now. Probably not later as well.