After a recent rewatching of the beloved film, I’ve come to realise that it’s a good thing Kuch Kuch Hota Hai came out in 1998. 

If you too were a fan of the film, brace yourself. Your childhood is about to be epicly ruined.

1. Rahul is a sexist pig whose younger self should’ve been in prison.

Rahul’s casual sexist womanising self is established early on in the film. In their brief one-on-one basketball game, it is poetically established that Rahul runs after girly girls who are nothing like Anjali’s sorry ‘tomboy’ ass.

But, supporter of casual sexism, Rahul also happens to be the proud upholder of sanskaar.

When Anjali asks him if he’s into Tina, he literally says she’s “not his type” cause she’s a girl from London who he “can’t take home to his mother”.

Rahul is also a sexist human-listicle who rolls out unsolicited wisdom to absolutely anyone who doesn’t want it.

2. Everyone body-shames women.

Mr. Malhotra basically spends half his workday being a rape-apologist going around telling women how they’re wearing short skirts to “entice men”.

Along with Rifat Bi who’s just not happy with pretty much anything her girls do.  

3. Dadi forces her religious agenda on everyone.

Rahul’s mother is a devout Hindu for whom prayer is bae.

Nothing wrong with that. 

But things get super weird when she starts forcing it down the throats of unwitting souls like little Anjali, the kids at the summer camp, and even an obviously Christian Almeida.

4. Anjali (senior) is a frickin’ escapist.

Anjali’s is an epic story of a glorified quitter.

When she discovers her love for Rahul is one-sided AF, she essentially drops out of college and breaks ties with everyone.

When she realises she’s in another love triangle with Rahul and Aman, she runs the fuck away from summer camp. Seeing how she randomly drops out of college, and now this, her job prospects look bleaker by the minute.

And she isn’t done here. She even runs away from her own wedding because well, third time’s the charm, I guess.

5. London is the only place abroad.

According to the characters in KKHH the world consists of 2 countries — India and London.

Sample this:

  • Supposed genius, Tina studies in Oxford University, London.
  • ALL of Rahul’s business trips take place in London.
  • Aman and Anjali’s wedding has to be hurried up because he has to go to London.
  • For some reason Almeida is so obsessed with London, he worships the Queen.

6. Butt shots! 

What was with all those butt shots?

The first 30 minutes of the film are basically a butt-fetish dude’s wet dream.

From Ms. Braganza, to Tina, to random college girls, nearly everyone is introduced butt-first.

Despite this, I’m still a fan and will always (Rifat) Bi.