1. Your expression when people go, “Oh! You don’t smoke?”

No. I’m not a very big fan of emphysema you know. It’s just not my thing.

2. And when they quip, “Why don’t you give it a try?”

Why don’t you try sky-diving without a parachute?

3. When your co-workers get all pally with your boss over a smoke and say, “Come join us.”

Why you make me choose between my lungs and my career… Why?

4. When you start getting smoker’s cough just from passive smoking.

Fuck my life!

5. You start having allergic reactions to all kinds of smoke including dhoop, agarbattis etc.

I will kill you all.

6. You become a pro at faking a smile & saying, ‘Go ahead! I don’t mind you smoking in here.’

While inside you’re like, “One day, when you’re in an I.C.U, I will walk up to your bed and say, ‘Go ahead! I don’t mind you dying in here…'”

7. You never get why they think that smoking is “cool.”

How can something so hazardous to your health be “cool?” Is playing with land-mines also cool? Or juggling with chain-saws maybe?

8. When you’re stuck in a party full of chain smokers and you feel like this…

Screw… You… Guys.

9. And if by chance you start dating a smoker, your first order of business is to get him to quit.

“Don’t you love me baby?”

10. There are times when you think of stealing all the lighters and match-boxes in the vicinity.

You know what they say, “If you can’t join them, then steal their shit.”

11. You start hating that dank smoky smell that comes from a room after it has been fumigated with tons of cigarettes.

Mmmm… I love the smell of cancer in the morning.

12. When you ask them to quit and they say, “It’s not a big deal.”

Not a big deal? I am like…

13. When your’re in a movie theatre and your friends laugh at the Anti Smoking Health Advisory.

All my friends are retards… Why can’t I have smarter friends?