When you’re with someone or even in the talking stage, it’s natural you will be bombarded with a lot of tips and advice from friends, family, and of course the internet. Several common tips you get time and again are communication and setting boundaries for your mental health. Sure they are the core of every relationship but Redditors have some tips that will enhance your relationship and some might come to you as lesser-known tips.
1. “FIND YOUR AUDIENCE. The women who come to me for dating advice, tend to “find the wrong audience”, then TRY TO CHANGE them into her “preferred audience”, and FAIL MISERABLY more often than not, leaving everyone miserable. It’s just a bad strategy, and it’ll hurt her and him, and the heartbreak will SUCK once she realizes she can’t convert him into the guy she wants.”a
2. “Work on yourself. Always. And learn what you can live with. Nobody will ever be 10/10 for you. You have to really figure out what you can compromise on and what are absolute deal breakers and you need to be realistic about that. Learn how to love someone with their flaws. If you spend the rest of your life’s together and you can’t be in the same room with that person for more than 2 hours you might have a problem. But examine why that is. Learn to let things go.”
3. “Your attention and time are your most valuable and scarce resources. The moment either of those feels wasted, exit the situation. No hesitation. Don’t throw good money after bad. Never waste time trying to persuade a woman to do anything.”
4. “Underrated – before you even think about dating, like seriously dating – make sure you get yourself together financially, mentally, and physically. Sounds like common sense, right? Yet so many people fail in one aspect and then expect another to come to fill the void. This ties into overrated – you find your person when you least expect it. No. Finding someone is opportunistic. You find them when you put yourself out there and take risks in the right circumstances and at the right timing. No one is coming to save you.”
5. “The best advice I ever received was “treat women the way women treat men”. Everything has been plain sailing since then.”
6. “People who say honest things about themselves which make them look imperfect, are the safest (like disclosing past mistakes and acknowledging that they were mistakes, admitting to getting drunk/high, admitting they have a past, admitting they are not in for more than casual sex).”
7. “If you want your future relationship to be within the confines of marriage, then be the type of person who is looking for a spouse. Be upfront and considerate of what the other person is looking for.”
8. “Guys it’s ok to challenge your date. I don’t know if this is underrated advice because it falls pretty squarely into don’t be a doormat. Have different opinions. Argue (good-natured) about favorite bands and movies.”
9. “MEN: Go learn to dance. (pref. Latin dances) There will be single women there looking for a partner. STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.”
10. “Dating is like a muscle. You have to work it out. There will be awkward moments but you gotta keep a short memory and move on. Try not to get offended if you get ghosted. If you’re trying to go on a lot of dates this will happen. Don’t hold any anger toward the person, move on and try to improve yourself.”
11. “Don’t date potential. He says he’s gonna be ambitious and entrepreneurial one day. Nice. He says he’s gonna get in perfect shape. Amazing goal. But if he never changes from the person he is now, would you be happy with him? If not, move on.”
12. “See the person you are dating as an individual with their own history and don’t assume that everything they do is some sort of expression of their perceived collective gender identity such as “this is typical for women/men, women always do this and that.”
13. “Flirt more. Polarize. If there’s a vibe, ramp it up by getting physical, even on the first date. I think a lot of more shy guys run into the problem of being too safe and platonic.”
14. “That love isn’t a choice, it’s an effort. Endorphins go away eventually and then once you realize you have to actually try to keep the relationship together rather than rely on good feelings and butterflies, it becomes much more rewarding.
15. “Never go into a relationship with the idea of changing something about the other person. You’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Find ways to love the flaws, without those, people are boring.”
16. “Communication and getting to that point where you’re so comfortable with each other you’d shit in front of them. Also, don’t trade out your friends for them! Having an equal balance between friends and you’re SO can save your life if you do break up with them.”
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