The movie begins with the murder of a police officer...
It is followed by some of the world's most atrocious VFX, which introduces our lead character - Nepotism Kumar.
Turns out, a father is telling his son a bedtime story.
To which the son replies with these exact words.
Soon after we're served with the mother of all exposition scenes. Nepotism Kumar, who was telling his son how brave he is, feels shit scared about going to a bathroom whose light isn't working. And he recounts his long sob story of how he is a loser in real life, and fears his son might turn out like him. And that's why he is getting his son to train in Judo, Karate and Boxing (like WTF?).
Nepotism K drops his son off at the school and this exchange takes place:
I swear to God those are his exact words, and I didn't make that part up.
Later that evening at the annual function...
After the performance, the director tells us about a family tragedy using a funny background score.
Asshole son introduces his classmate to Nepotism K and says "His father got stabbed, I've promised him you will avenge his father's death. You have to promise him too." *with a background score meant for Johnny Lever*
Nepotism K and his wife go to watch a movie, where a few thugs are sitting on their seats. Obviously too much of an overthinking loser, he pleads with his wife to leave the theatre.
And out of nowhere rain, Rajasthani backup dancers appear while our hero's fat glasses disappear.
Nepotism K is a loser of such epic proportions, that he pays someone else to sing a song and serenade his wife.
They get back home, and seeing his mother pissed the son asks his Dad what happened in the theatre. Obviously he lies the shit out of how he beat the bad guys. Asshole son obviously believes every word.
And when his mother confronts his Dad about the compulsive lying, the son says this,
Asshole kid gets into a scuffle with another kid, whose father happens to be the local gunda. Asshole kid being asshole kid - he challenges the gunda to come fight with his Dad.
Meanwhile, there is a short-circuit at the house. And Mommy dearest risks her life to save a VHS tape. Both father and son being the judgemental pieces of shit that they are sneer at her for trying to save a VHS tape (they're not completely wrong). But that's when she plays her Draw 4 card of - sindoor, suhaag, sangeet and shaadi.
The director again painfully uses a character's death to comic effect. Nepotism Kumar is a murder witness, and the next scene shows him sitting in a monkey cap.
The police ask him to testify, and it turns out the alleged murderer is also responsible for the first murder in the film. And he's reminded of the promise he made to his son's classmate with the white sari, vidhwa card.
He gets sentenced to death of course and he promises to kill Nepotism K. Filmy police being filmy police, he flees the van enroute to jail. Somewhere in all this, there's a subplot of Nepotism K of assuming the makeover of a Sardar. And an item song featuring Harbhajan Maan wearing those chat-room headphones.
The mohallawalahs fail to identify Nepotism K in his Sardar look. And raise unglis on the wife's charitra:
And wifey does the only logical thing to put an end to her miserable life with such a wuss of a husband.
Nepotism K convinces her not to do it, and promises her he will stop acting like a loser. Wifey even convinces the police to tell her loser husband that the killer has been caught so he can stop being loser self. He heaves a sigh of relief and does this step in a foreign location:
Shortly after their outdoor song, Nepotism meets killer in the market. And escapes a narrow death.
Inspector point to his wife.
And then out of somewhere Shotgun Sinha appears as a 'mysterious mama' who lands at Nepotism K's house with his khaat.
Mysterious mama becomes the colony vigilante against the eve-teasers.
As it turns out he has come all the way from La Lu land so that he can defend Nepotism K from the killer.
Mysterious Mama gets stabbed twice and gravely injured.
They make plans to leave the city, but madman killer lands up at their doorstep. That's when Nepotism Kumar delivers the line of the film -
Of course he beats the shit out of the villain and becomes the actual 'Papa the great' in his son's eyes.
Alas, Krishan Kumar remained Nepotism Kumar and the son grew up to become the asshole he was destined to become, since those Karate classes.