1. Stop leaving your tea cup around before this layer of the world’s most disgusting thing starts to take over (read: malai).

2. One word — BlasFUCKINGphemy!

3. Note to everyone in the world: Milk powder is not the same as milk!

4. This is what broken dreams are made of.

5. Matcha does not ‘match’a up to any chai standards.

6. Be careful. The malai takes a second to come back. See, it’s here to haunt our tea cups again.

7. How is this shit-tasting green water anywhere close to what chai is supposed to be like.

8. Is that cola or tea? How can anyone even tell?!

9. Matlab kya bakwaas hai yeh? Chai-tea? You mean, CHAI-CHAI?!

10. Tea? More like tat-tea! Anyone who likes dip-dip wali chai deserves wet teabags in their shoes.

11. Imagine meeting someone you really like and finding out they like their tea like this.

12. Aur upar se doodh daalne walo ke liye there’s a special place in hell.

13. You don’t have to use a saucer, you know that right?

14. Once there was a hole in my chhanni and the PTSD is still fresh AF, unlike the chai.

15. Also, please wash tea cups after using them. Don’t be gross.

16. Kaun hai yeh log? Kahaan se aate hain?

17. Cringe level max.

Chai laa rahe ho ki bahar se mangva lu?