We, who get our brains dried and fried at work, perpetually want to erase every memory of our lunatic boss like the protagonists did in Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (except we won’t regret it later).
Unfortunately, real-life technology isn’t as kind to us yet, so all we can do is pretend to be as cool as Thomas Shelby from Peaky Blinders and chug that whiskey like there’s no (work) tomorrow.
In an attempt to forget your shitty day, we advise you to indulge in these at your own risk—but kindly indulge.
1. Cosmopolitan
The 90s series Sex in the City transformed Cosmo into a stylish pink cocktail that you wanna sip and feel like Carrie Bradshaw to get over the trauma of your boss ‘requesting’ you to re-do that presentation after work hours.
2. Long Island Iced Tea
Long Island iced teas are light on your pocket yet they’ll make you enough boozy to chase down your boss who pays you in peanuts!
3. Martini
Martinis are notoriously strong drinks so the moment you feel that warm and fuzzy buzz, hit send to the resignation mail that’s eating dust in your draft folder.
4. Mojito
You might not be sipping your Mojito by the pool or beach as it was intended because your second leave of the month wasn’t approved. You’re probably having this drink alone at the bar but remember your day might be sour but your Mojito’s refreshing AF.
5. Mumbai Mule
Sweet, tangy, warming, soothing – Mumbai Mule is aesthetically pleasing and a perfect way to end your day ‘cos from 9 to 5 you’ve watched your boss look like an arthritic dog nearing the end of his life.
6. Gin and Tonic
Drinking spirits, like gin, have more probability to induce negative emotions. If you want to cry over your boss’ speech at the mental health seminar you attended—the same boss, who later in the day, expected you to carry your work home—then go for it.
7. Mimosa
A single mimosa isn’t likely to get you wasted. So you can have it on days when your co-worker bitches about her husband being a jackass, which makes you celebrate your singlehood.
8. Whisky Mac
Whisky’s got the reputation of being the ultimate ‘man’s drink’ so you’d probably want to gulp it right after your boss cracked that unfunny sexist joke and expected you to laugh.
9. Rum and coke
It doesn’t taste good, strong AF, but does the trick. You don’t have a life anyway, so this might help you pass out when the dread of seeing the same dead faces at work the next day is giving you sleepless nights.
10. Single malt
It’s elegant and pricey. So you order it the first week of the month when your salary is credited, and you act as if you understand what good booze is when you’re with your coworkers at a party.
12. Draught beer
Draught beer is for the lightweights. Why get fucked by alcohol when life fucks you anyway?
Trust me, the next hungover day at work will feel far better than your sober days.
