Over a fortnight after demonetisation took the nation by storm, Indians are still split about whether this is a prudent move on the part of the Narendra Modi administration. But all the arguments for and against demonetisation aside, nobody can deny the fact that its implementation has caused the common man a wave of inconvenience – one that is not going away anytime soon.
In the spirit of acknowledging the absolute mess that is the banned ₹500 and ₹1,000 notes, daily and weekly limits on bank withdrawals, and the ongoing reconfiguration of ATMs all over the country, one man took to Twitter. Sanjay Sipahimalani tweeted in-flight announcements as if they were being made in the style of demonetisation. And it was hilarious.
If in-flight announcements were made in the manner of demonetisation notifications: (1/13)
— Sanjay Sipahimalani (@SanSip) November 25, 2016
Yep. There are 13 more tweets to this. And considering that Twitter is famous for it’s brevity among all social media, imagine how much more there is to be said on the subject.
I digress. Starting with a friendly reminder that this is going to be a ‘bumpy ride’, the passengers, much like the citizens of India were not given any warnings, about just how bumpy.
Hello, and welcome aboard. Do fasten your seatbelts, because we’re in for a bumpy ride. (2/13)
— Sanjay Sipahimalani (@SanSip) November 25, 2016
(Phshh… ‘Bumpy’ doesn’t even begin to cover it. Ask basically any Indian right now.)
You can stow cabin baggage in the overhead compartment for the first 15 minutes after which you need to place it under your seat. (3/13)
— Sanjay Sipahimalani (@SanSip) November 25, 2016
After five more minutes, you can take it out and place it on your lap. Until further notice. (4/13)
— Sanjay Sipahimalani (@SanSip) November 25, 2016
You can switch off your cellphones now. Those who switched off cellphones five minutes ago may be subject to penalty. (5/13)
— Sanjay Sipahimalani (@SanSip) November 25, 2016
There is no penalty for those using pre-paid cards that they have purchased in the last 24 hours. (6/13)
— Sanjay Sipahimalani (@SanSip) November 25, 2016
Or is it 12 hours? We’ll let you know. (7/13)
— Sanjay Sipahimalani (@SanSip) November 25, 2016
Much like in an actual flight, we’ve all basically committed to demonetisation without anyone having consulted us. So like it or not, you are aboard this 50-day flight… it could be more. They’ll let you know.
Our in-flight crew will be happy to take care of your needs. Write down stated needs and get the signature of the airline CEO. (8/13)
— Sanjay Sipahimalani (@SanSip) November 25, 2016
Food will be served first to those sitting on rows 1 to 12. After 5 minutes, we’ll reverse the order. Then it’s odd-numbered rows. (9/13)
— Sanjay Sipahimalani (@SanSip) November 25, 2016
Unless the food runs out. (10/13)
— Sanjay Sipahimalani (@SanSip) November 25, 2016
Those who are already full are encouraged to distribute leftover food to those less fortunate. (11/13)
— Sanjay Sipahimalani (@SanSip) November 25, 2016
In case of turbulence, oxygen masks will drop down. Before using these, you need to provide a chest X-ray that is KYC-compliant. (12/13)
— Sanjay Sipahimalani (@SanSip) November 25, 2016
Sanjay’s final tweet basically summarised how Indians have collectively been shoved onto a flight that we know practically nothing about and now there isn’t much more for us to do than hope to God that it f*#king lands alright.
The flight should take 60 minutes, but it could be more. Or less. It’s a small inconvenience. Take this flight for the nation. (13/13)
— Sanjay Sipahimalani (@SanSip) November 25, 2016
There were several that responded with their two cents on the bizarre, chaotic, demonetisation flight.
@SanSip @Vidyut The wheels have come off, so we are making do modified take off gear, straight out of flintstones.
— shankar kalambur (@shankarkalambur) November 25, 2016
There were those that did not take kindly to the joke.
@SanSip Wish Sir u had read RBI guidelines that there will be changes as per review. Alas, there r voices that make a joke on corruption too
— gab.ai/@RoevanScoob (@RoevanScoob) November 25, 2016
And then there were those that, like most of us, are not complaining per say, but that the hilarity of our nation’s utter financial frenzy is not lost on. Many, just LOL-ing pretty damn hard.
@SanSip sums up everything so well .. brilliant hai sirjee ..
— Bhavin (@NotSoPatel) November 25, 2016
Here’s to literally all of India, praying their butts off that this flight-from-hell will eventually be worth the trip.
