Hi! I am Bunty. Well, not really, but I feel like him these days. People around me have already cleaned their hands, dried them with towels, and are up for manicures. And me? I am still struggling with my soap, which is slow AF. It’s been around a decade since I completed my schooling. And now, waqt badal gaya, jazbat badal gaye!
My batchmates are getting married. Some of them have already become parents. I am happy for those couples. Really. However, the amount of wedding albums and reels I come across on Instagram, makes me feel like Lifebuoy-waala Bunty.
Bunty in me keeps on thinking that I will probably be the last woman to be hitched on the earth. In fact, I can totally relate to Raj Aryan Malhotra, watching all the happy couples in this song sequence from Mohabbatein. ‘Oh, they just got married!’ ‘Oh they are having kids!’ I often sob inside and pretend that I am cool AF. This is the exact representation of my feelings. Raj, I feel you.
Be it batchmates, friends, cousins, colleagues, all of them have been caught up in settling down. Sabko one-by-one shaadi karni hai. Sabko ‘Mera Dil Ye Pukare’ ki reel banani hai. And I am literally the wedding guest, who keeps requesting gol-gappe-waale-bhaiya: ‘thoda aur teekha lagao!‘ I am also the JJ of Rockstar, who gets upset when there is not enough chutney for my samosas. Go Goa Gone ka sequel kab aayega? Was Akash in Andhadun still blind in the climax? How many times Isha shouted Shivaaa! Shivaaa! in Brahmastra‘?
*Still figuring out*
While couples are dancing to Something Something in their wedding functions, I am basically Mr. Bean playing an imaginary piano.
Even younger generation is making me feel like Bunty. Even they have found ‘the one’ for themselves. And I am guessing a day will come soon, when all my juniors would meet me and say: ‘Aapka sabun slow hai kya?’
Meanwhile, my mom is acting like Nagma Khatoon of Gangs Of Wasseypur, who often taunts me: “Kab khoon khaulega re tera?” Maa, apna time aayega! Sabka badla lega tera Faisal. Promise. Bunty ka bhi.
P.S. Dedicated to all the singles out there.