Firstly, the lot of you didn’t like anyway. You thought I was rich because I owned a bat.  

Well, I wasn’t. I used the same bat throughout high school.  That’s why I would ask everyone to be careful with the bat. And I would repeat it. A lot. Now, that might seem like a dick move, like I didn’t want to give you my bat. But I had my reasons.

Since the lot of you believed it was public bat, you treated it as such. You were careless with it. 

Yes, Bittu. I am talking to you. When you are careless and hit the bat in the ground, it tends to break. You would be more careful if your papa had paid for the bat.  

And I am not made of money, okay? If I came home with that broken bat, there would be some serious ass-whooping.  

Secondly, you all cheated a lot too.’Oooo, umpire batting team se hi hoga’. Kyun saale? Where is it written in the scriptures?   

I have seen you edge to third slip and the umpire give you Not Out! Airbender hai kya bowler, 4 mts swing karwa raha ball? 

Everyone did it. It’s just that once everyone else overruled the umpire’s decision, you didn’t really have a choice but to GTFO the crease. But I didn’t have to. Also, how many times have you fake appealed to get someone Out… to get me Out? 

You have no moral high ground.  

So, let me clarify this once and for all. 

Start thinking of me as Thor. Now I could share Mjolnir with both Vision and Captain America, but I am not in the movie (Ahem Ahem, Civil War), neither is Mjolnir.  

Does it justify me walking out with the bat? No. But that’s the bed you made. So sleep quietly on it. Don’t go around ruining my good name.