You know, how sometimes people literally have one job but they still fail miserably? Yeah, well, this is a compilation of exactly that. No bigger metaphors here that I’ll tie up in the conclusion.
1. When you lie on your CV but still get the job.
2. “Be that dude on the wall. Embrace life, or the wall, your f**king call.” – Buddha
3. This is the only time the mixed signal excuse works.
4. Ma has probably seen worse things.
5. What renaming cities to solve all their problems really looks like.
6. Pikachu, Chernobyl. Circa 1996.
7. “The fear, the rage. This is what makes good men evil.”
8. Americans trying to do better but still missing the point.
9. This is why you want to pay better wages to people.
10. Half-assed it. Literally.
11. How I feel watching Virat Kohli fish outside the off stump.
12. “Doesn’t matter, they probably eat spices as well”- Europeans during the 15th century.
13. When everything goes right but you know, life’s a little sneaky little shit.
14. Anna Hazare going on a fast to open temples while there’s a pandemic, rise in unemployment, meteoric rise in fuel and food prices, rampant bigotry raging in the country.
15. Me in 10th grade running out of extra sheets solving Trigonometry equations, when the answer was right there right in front of me. This is personal and painful.
16. Jesus has returned… to isle 5.
17. How demonetisation solved the problem of black money.
18. When you go the extra mile but nobody’s asked you to.
19. That definitely leads to the Ministry of Magic.
20. When you can’t remember Nicole Kidman’s name, so you refer to her as Aquaman’s mom. #TooReal #Regrets
21. Life in a nutshell…
22. Every Art team in the world has done it once.
23. Using Homeopathy to cure something.
24. Men celebrating Ronaldo joining Manchester United, forgetting that the women in their lives can see them.
25. Basically, all that sad single incel crap AIB used to post every Valentine’s Day.
26. That one time I almost got a 100 in Maths but didn’t because my ink pen dropped ink on the last line of the equation, making me think it was a decimal point.
FFS, I should pay you guys for therapy.
27. Par aayega to ye label maker hi.
28. Upper Caste people on Twitter talking about being anti-caste while taking up DBA spaces.
29. This just pisses me off.
30. My man put less effort into this than America put into stopping the Taliban.
31. This is what getting out on 99 must feel like.
Kitna bhi marketing kar lo, product hi chutiya hai to… Oh, it’s politically relevant, can’t say that lulzz!
33. “We have a balcony at home”. The balcony at home:
34. People have peed through smaller spaces and never missed.
35. I know, what you’re thinking, but the baby has rights. At least till it comes out of the closet.
36. How the sudden lockdown last year helped stop the spread of COVID-19.
37. “Matt’s a dick.” – Literally everyone.
This makes me feel better about myself.