What do you do when you have the police force of a country chasing you in connection with some really serious crimes? 

Well, if you’re Swami Nithyanand, you make a new country. 

Kailaasa

The guy has created the ‘greatest Hindu nation’ Kailaasa in Equador, and already has a ‘cosmic constitution’ in place. 

There are many other details about the country and if you are curious about them (as you should be), you can make use of this research we did earlier.

Twitter/Its Dinesh Kumar

On the other hand, if this news makes you think about creating your own nation, this article is where you will find enlightenment.

I found a WikiHow page which lists the steps for building a nation from scratch, in a few easy steps (not a very credible source, I know, but credibility wasn’t the scene at any point, so).

Here we go. 

This seems obvious but sometimes, the obvious needs to be stated. Don’t treat this like candy crush. Think about stuff a little. Be clear about your motivations before you start the process. 

Once the contemplation is complete, get on with other things like name of the country, national anthem etc. Originality is crucial but not compulsory. Consult your friends, neighbours, exes – whoever can help.

Wikihow

This is boring, I don’t feel like elaborating on this. You’ll find convention rules on the internet, read those.

To quote WikiHow, you can’t “just plant a flag and say, MINE”. You have to put in some work – and by that I mean you have to do one of these 4 things: Conquer land, buy land, find a loophole and trick a country and/or find a disputed piece of land that no one wants. 

You’re clearly not rich enough to buy a country (I mean, you are reading this article) so either build an army or start watching Abbas–Mustan movies to get sharp ideas.

Wikihow

All you need to build a nation is: Love, determination and mitti. Take a lot of sand and drop it inot the ocean till you create an island. Go on, if the Arabs can do it, so can you.

Starting a country is like throwing a house party. Who would have thought? Unlike my loser self, if you have friends, send them group invitations on WhatsApp to join your country and make sure it’s BYOF – ‘bring your own family’.

WikiHow

Channel your inner Bigg Boss and make your own rules. You want a 2-day working week? Do it. You want Tunak Tunak Tun as your national anthem? Make it. Do whatever you want.

Now, while there are some other steps in between, like: Declaring independence, establishing economy and other things but the most important step is the last step.

Just do it, man. Get done with it. If Nithyananda can make a cosmic constitution, you have much higher chances of making things work. Only, remember, you need to have friends (*cries*).