Today, when we think of royals, our minds go to the weddings, and the fancy parties and all that imperial swag. But we don’t somehow associate royals with weird. But that’s the thing, a lot of them are!

1. Christian VII Of Denmark was a chronic masturbator

Christian VII became king of Denmark at the age of 17 despite his child-like behavior. The young king was not thought of as mentally sound and exhibited many antisocial behaviors. But the one that caught everyone’s eye was his habit of frequently pleasuring himself. It is now been hypothesized that he was either Schizophrenic and bipolar, or suffered from Porphyria, a genetic disorder.

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2. Amalie Of Bavaria believed she was made of glass and would shatter if handled properly. 

The mid-19th century Bavarian princess was in love with books and produced many literary works. However, she had one very peculiar belief. She believed she had swallowed a glass piano would always walk with caution so as not to break the glass. 

History

3. Louis XIV of France lived a long life with a lot of enemas, that had colour, were scented with rose, bergamot, and angelica.

Louis XIV ruled France for 72 years. And it is believed that he liked enemas so much that he had thousands of them performed on him throughout his life. Wow!

Biogaphy

4. Gaius Julius Caesar Germanicus also known as Caligula had a weird deal with his pet horse, Incitatus. 

The Roman emperor loved his horse Incitatus and had given it it’s own house with a marble stall and ivory manger. Caligula had planned to appoint the horse to the high office of consul, but he was assassinated before he could do so

Britannica

5. Charles II and William II of England, François I of France, and Christian IV of Denmark were all cannibals when it came to medicine. 

In those days dead body parts called ‘Mumia’ were often sold to apothecaries and physicians. Many of them believed that these parts contained some form of a life force leftover from the person. Generally, it was either a healthy or a young person, whose remains would be prescribed to kings and queens. 

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6. In the late 15th century, Queen Isabella of Spain bragged that she had only bathed twice in her whole life.

In the year 537 AD, invading Goths cut all the Roman aqueducts that had been installed for bathing. The Catholic Church at the time had no idea how to repair the adequates and thus declared bathing to be a sin practiced by the pagans. Over time this became established ‘fact’ and monarchies untill very recetly bragged about not taking baths. 

National Geographic

7. Qin Shihuang of China died trying to be immortal. 

Qin Shihuang founded the Qin dynasty and is considered the first emperor of China. He believed in an old myth that there were three ‘spirit mountains’ in the sea inhabited by immortals. He used to send search parties to look for herbs and such that would grant him immortality and then drink them as elixirs.  

However, these elixirs were often made by alchemists and had traces of mercury in them, which is suspected to be the cause of his demise. 

Vision Times

8. Henry VIII used to make noblemen kiss his bed because he was afraid that they had poisoned him. 

You must have heard of or seen kings and queens having royal tasters who would eat the food first so that they might know if the food was poisoned. But Henry VIII pushed the bar a bit higher here as well. He was even more afraid for his son Edward and never let him wear new garments brought straight from the tailor. 

Biography

9. Tsar Peter III of Russia had a full military parade for his doll after a rat tore it’s head off. 

Peter was not of sound mind. He was so obsessed with toy soldiers that historians believed they were the reason he and Catherine The Great never consummated their marriage. Historians believe that he was a boy trapped inside a man’s body. 

Biography

10. Queen Juana I Of Castile spent a lot of time with the body of her deceased husband

When Philip passed in 1506 at the age of 28, Queen Juana was already in a fragile mental state brought upon by the king’s infidelity. But his passing is what seems to have made her pushed her too far. She kissed Philip’s corpse until it was embalmed and interred in a Monastery.

She soon had the coffin opened again and started kissing the corpse’s feet. the body and coffin went with her to Torquemada, protected by armed guards who were ordered not to let any women near it. It remained with her till her imprisonment in 1509. 

Mediavalists

There we go. Gotta say, for a bunch of people who used to rule the lot of us, they did some messed up shit.