My life has become a series of weddings.
My phone album is exploding with wedding photos.
My calendar is marked with wedding dates.
My wardrobe is overflowing with wedding bling.
These weddings just keep on coming, man. I’m running endlessly in the wedding marathon and definitely not winning.
In fact, I’m tired AF; somehow stumbling through, pretty much on the verge of collapse.
Okay, so let me make one thing very clear.
I LOVE my friends and the fact that they’re all getting married one by one to great people. Seeing them happy makes me happy. I obviously want to be a part of the celebrations.
But I just can’t handle the stress of the whole wedding scene. It’s just too much work with too many hassles.
It’s not as simple as picking an outfit, sitting in a car and heading to the venue.
There are many, many, many stages involved.
I’ll break it down for you.
News Announcement Day: When your friend tells you’re that they’re getting married and you rush to their house with balloons and a bottle of wine.
Planning Day: Meeting over lunch to allocate duties to each bridesmaid.
Official Introduction With ‘The One’ Day: Even if you know the person, there has to be a customary dinner when you meet him/her as the future spouse.
Roka Day: When the couple officiate the union with ceremonies.
Dance Practice Days: Back-to-back sessions of choreographed steps and drinking that go on for weeks.
Casual Catching Up Days: This includes all the dates with your friend to take updates and ask them about how excited they are.
Gift Hunting Day: It’s bloody impossible to find the perfect present that does justice to both the desired idea and set budget.
First Event Day: This kick starts the celebrations. It could be a dinner or small-scale drinking scene with the gang or anything in between.
Bachelorette Discussion Day: Where to go? How much to spend? Who all to call? This takes a while.
Bachelorette Days: Holiday mode ON. This is the time to unleash the wild animal within and do things that we’ll definitely regret later.
Youngsters Day: You know, partying, debauchery, hangovers etc.
Engagement & Cocktail Day: They put a ring on it! You admire the shining stone on your friend's finger and then raid the bar like a bitch.
Sangeet Day: This is when you see the useless end result of all those practices. Everyone on stage is hammered anyway.
Wedding Day: Annnnnnnnd…. DONE.
Reception Day: But wait, there’s always one last stop.
I don’t even know if I got the order right. But you get the point, yeah?
All of these listed days are a package of one wedding.
Now think of three of these (at least) in a month.
I’m sure you can do the math.
Not as easy as it sounds, eh?
Well, it isn’t. In fact, it’s a state of anarchy.
Too many priorities come into play. I’ve got to be here, there, and everywhere in between.
It's a hopeless struggle. On a scale of 1 to 10, the time in-hand is 1 and the responsibilities are 10.
The thing is, every bride and groom would expect his or her close friends to be there, at every single step. And I don’t want to be a blacklisted friend. No way!
So, being MIA is not an option. Nobody gives a fuck if you’ve got an important meeting or a fever. Every valid reason will sound like an excuse. You just need to make it all work somehow.
But easier said than done.
The best part is that by the time you’re done wrapping up one wedding, another is waiting in the pipeline. It’s amazing how it always happens. And God be with you if there's a clash.
Once, two of my girlfriends got married on the same day, at the same time. Now, that's what you call a nervous breakdown.
Oh, and I just received another invitation yesterday, inside a beautiful box with sandalwood and rose that made me cry.
I’m screaming inside.
I don’t know how to do it anymore.
My leaves at work are so over that I’d rather take a lifetime of taunts than ask my boss for one more off.
My bank balance is so over that I find myself officially inducted in the Broke Hall Of Shame.
What am I supposed to do?
Quit my job? Rob a bank?
Nah. All I’ve got to do is magically strike the perfect balance. Screw reality.
Taking into account the outrageous number of back-to-back events I’ve successfully completed, I would’ve felt like Superwoman - had I not been so physically exhausted and mentally drained.
Even sickness doesn’t change anything. I’ll never forget the evening I attended a school friend’s wedding while down with food poisoning. I popped a few pills and got there (against my better judgment), then ended up throwing up in the loo while everyone was doing shots at the bar.
But then again, I’m no victim. Of course not. I’m just another girl trying to celebrate her friends' most special moments and have some fun while I can.
And I'm lucky to have such beautiful bonds with all my friends; being with them at every step of the way has been the joy of my heart, even if it killed me a little. Ha.
I’ll take all the hangovers and traffic jams happily, till the day everyone I know is married.
That’s when I’ll get back to breathing again.
Till then, the next bridesmaid duty calls!