Anyone who’s driven on Indian roads will know that potholes are the least of our worries. The biggest peril of driving on Indian roads are the drivers themselves! If you manage to get back home at least one day without shaking your head in frustration at the antics of some driver or the other, consider yourself lucky! The Indian Driving Douchebaggery are of different kinds. That’s why we’ve made a list of 11 Kinds of Indian Drivers To Watch Out For.
1. The Honkers
These are people who believe that ceaselessly sounding the horn will magically clear the traffic. They honk even if they are waiting at a red light!
2. The Snails
Driving at a moderate speed is ideal but driving like a sleep-deprived snail in the middle of a fast lane? That’s madness! Not only do they drive below the speeding limit, they have this uncanny knack of not letting the people behind them get ahead.
3. The Turncoats
These dangerous drivers stay at the extreme left or right side of the road up until the point they have to take a turn when they swerve all the way to the other end not giving a rat’s ass as to who’s behind them. Not only do they bring the entire traffic to a halt but they are also the reason behind all those dented cars you see on the road.
4. The Speed Racers
It’s like every time they are behind the wheel, they think they are in the middle of a Need for Speed Game. And they are constantly pressing the Nitro Boost! Potholes, pedestrians, puppies - they don’t care what’s in front of them.
5. The Curser
They might be the most soft spoken, well behaved individuals outside of a four-wheeler but the moment they start driving they hurl out abuses that will make Roadies’ Raghu blush. Some of these douchebags even have the nerve to abuse women drivers. But most of them abuse pretty much involuntarily. Traffic Jam? B****C**D. Red light? M****C**D. Empty Road? Oh B****C**D!
6. The Stopper
Somebody has told these guys that all the roads and highways belong to their great grandfather because that’s the only way to explain their behaviour on the road. They stop in the middle of the road as per their whim, sometimes to chat with a friend who’s in an adjacent car, sometimes to drop someone off, sometimes to ask directions. All in the middle of the road!
7. The Rebels
These are the guys who, in order to save 2 minutes of their time, go the wrong way and end up disrupting the traffic for the next 2 hours. They feel traffic laws and rules aren’t meant for them. As long as they have blood in their veins and fuel in their tanks, they will keep breaking rules and keep being a pain in the ass of others.
8. The Pedestrian Nightmare
No other word to describe these guys except ‘psychopath’. They get some kind of rush out of driving inches away from pedestrians on the roadside. Another thing they love to do is suddenly speed up if they see someone crossing the road! These guys shouldn’t even be allowed to drive Go-Karts!
9. The Close Shaver
These guys have either forged their drivers' licenses or they have some serious mental issues. They don't brake on time, they don't turn on time and they definitely don't swerve away on time. They bump into cars so liberally that for them driving on Indian roads is like playing bumper cars at an amusement park. But news flash assholes, we're NOT amused!!
10. The Crazy Parkers
Technically these fellas don't trouble the rest of us with their driving skills. But their parking skills?? HOLY SHIT. They don't understand the concept of parking spots. They park wherever however. Next to a no parking sign, in the middle of the freakin road, blocking 3 other cars, they don't give a shit. It would be great for the rest of us if they just park their vehicles at their own homes and never venture into the outside world.
11. The Fighters
Born to fight! That's the perfect way these guys can be described. They are Indian Mike Tysons trapped in tiny cars just looking for reasons to get out of their cars and pick a fight in the middle of the road. Overtake them, honk at them once or even look directly into their eyes and you're in for a showdown!