I’m sure many of you find Karan Johar’s depiction of schools and colleges too grand and yes, the reality is very different . But has anyone ever wondered what schools would be like if KJo had control over how they function? Imagine your school with lavish classrooms and having it 10 times easier than it is now. Wouldn’t life be so much fun? These 15 things show what schools would be like if Karan Johar was the Human Resource Development Minister:
1. Couture is so much better than uniform. Obviously!
Uniforms are probably the first thing Karan Johar would remove from every school’s rule book. Boutiques for all the designers would replace uniform shops and OOTDs (outfit of the days) would probably flood social media. Hey, it’s Monday, let’s wear Giorgio Armani!
2. Dance competitions would decide your future.
Isn’t it just perfect? Every dancer would be a valedictorian. Do we have those in India? No, but if it were left to Karan Johar, we sure would. After all, it’s the next best thing of the prom!
3. SAT? Nah, treasure hunts will get you into Ivy Leagues.
No pressure on students as all you have to do to get a full scholarship is win a treasure hunt! Of course, Ivy Leagues would then be flooded. Imagine going to your parents and saying, “I got into Harvard, it’s a cake walk!”
4. No, I don’t want to meet the school counsellor. I’d like meet the school gossiper, and an extra shot of espresso in my coffee, please?
Imagine if your boyfriend strayed on you with this other chick you don’t like. It’s okay, bitch your heart out and comfort yourself with some freshly brewed coffee and chocolates with the school’s very own professional gossiper.
5. At least one in every 3 students would be friend-zoned!
Best friends fall in love or friendships break because of another. All that drama – won’t it be awesome? After all, who doesn’t enjoy watching all that? Oh, and the winner of the dance off gets the girl. Epicness level 1264!
6. School politics isn’t only for the kids. A teacher is always interested in their students’ lives.
Best friends fighting? In love? The teachers know exactly what’s happening and get involved too. Now, that can be harsh.
7. School would have only two kinds of people: rich brats and nerds.
Everyone’s different. Don’t we all know that? Doesn’t school have a variety of people? Not in KJo’s world. In his version of school, there are only two kinds of kids and there’s a major rivalry between the two.
8. Teachers would all be sexy.
Ever imagined your teachers being so sexy? While the principal goes around telling girls not to wear skirts only two inches above the knee, this teacher comes flashing all she has.
9. Every principal would be a dean.
Since when did principals become deans? I thought that was only in college. Oh wait, everything happens before it’s supposed to in KJo’s school.
10. Gays would all be effeminate.
I take offence with this one. The way he pictures a gay man is so stereotypical. Not every gay person is flouncy. Come on KJo, you’re better than that.
11. The ministry’s budget would be spent on building temples and churches on campus.
Hey, have you ever seen an on campus mandir or church in schools? I haven’t, and it’s something new to me. But looks like that would be a common occurrence with Karan’s schools.
12. Studying? No, not really. Jai Mata Di is the way to go!
Since Karan Johar would have already provided the kids with numerous temples, why not take the easy way. Let God handle our fate. I’m sure He’ll do justice.
13. Hey guys, want to get a girl? Just give her a friendship band.
I thought friend-zone was a thing till I watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. As we all know it: pyaar dosti hai. Woah, then my crush should have been my best friend. That’s messed up.
14. Roughing it out at a camp? Forget it.
If the schools are lavish, then how can the camps not be? He’s got it right, hasn’t he? No one wants to go on a trek. I’d rather sing bhajans in the middle of a field in Shimla. That’s so much better than having scraped knees.
15. The kids won’t jump the wall and go watch a movie, they’ll jump the wall and go club-hopping.
Don’t underestimate the power of the director of K3G. He can make people feel things no one has ever felt. No seriously, has your mother ever felt your footsteps from miles away? Anyway, getting drunk is probably the best thing a kid can do at 15!
