‘Tis seems to be the season for breakups and while some of us are evolved enough to redirect our energies and get a move on from the heartbreak on our own, most of us turn to our friends and family for support. We know that even though most mean well, a few unexpected zingers find their way in inadvertently through the haze of well-meaningness!
1. “Stop being so dramatic!”
Do you want some popcorn with that brilliant display of support?
2. “You have a knack for choosing ass*****.”
I noticed. If only they came with tags.
3. “Chal koi aur mil jayega/jayegi.”
I’m sorry, I didn’t know we had a supermarket for that. Let’s go right now!
4.”Ye toh hone hi wala tha.”
Oh, now you’re psychic?
5. “Everything happens for a reason. In the long run you will see its a good thing.”
I’m sorry, I prefer to live in the now.
6. “Why do you give people so much importance?”
Last time I checked, you were supposed to give importance to your significant other. How do your relationships work?
7. “You should really just let go. Enough already!”
Wait, what? There’s a switch for that? I’m on it!
8. “Time is the best healer.”
Well it feels like forever.
9. “I never liked him/her.”
Well, lucky for you, you weren’t with them.
10. “Oh I saw him/her with their new girlfriend/boyfriend yesterday.”
And you’re telling me this because…?
11. “He/she’s doing so well, look at you wasting away.”
Yes, I’m over-the-moon happy for them, can you pass me the remote?
12. “Chal achha hua, more time with me!”
NO.
13. “Imagine how much money you’ll be saving now.”
Yes, I’m the next millionaire.
14. “He/she is probably over you by now, stop wasting your time and move on.”
Why thank you, I need to be told how easily forgettable I am right now.
15. “Perhaps you guys were better off as friends. Try being friends again!”
Post-breakup friendzone? No, thank you.
16. “You have so much to achieve in life!”
I’m completely capable of multitasking.
17. “Achha I’ll set you up with this great guy/girl I know.”
Just leave me alone with my FRIENDS reruns.
18. “Let’s watch 500 Days of Summer!”
How about no?
Jokes and rejoinders apart, breakups are extremely difficult to deal with and sometimes have the ability to change us. Know that your friends and family usually have the best intentions when they’re trying to comfort you. Surround yourself with positivity and try to heal over with the knowledge that you have people who will always have your back.
