Most of us women are, by default, a stickler for love affairs. We love the idea of falling in love and bask in the glory of being swept off our feet by those swoon-worthy souls with their perfect hands.
And when the going gets tough, we’re not ones to give up too easily on the relationships we’ve given our all to.
But sometimes, as unwilling and disgruntled as we might be about it, we choose to give up on love.
It kills us inside, it tears us apart. But we grit our teeth, and go through with it. Women walk out on relationships they’ve built with their partners over years. They give up on a life they had built around their partners, a life of love they had woven with everything they had, even when it breaks their hearts to have to do it.
Women leave because, even in seemingly stable, happy relationships, their partners take them for granted.
Don’t get me wrong. These men aren’t douchebags, they aren’t bad at all. They’re good fathers and they support their family. But these men are so engrossed in work and going about their day, they’re not present for the love of their life.
As we get increasingly entangled in the humdrum affairs of our lives, we tend to overlook and neglect the little details.
We don’t pay as much attention as we should to those who form such a huge part of our lives.
It isn’t something we’re doing consciously. It just so happens that we let our circumstances get in the way of love. And we’re too caught up in our everyday charades to even realize that we need to put in more effort, and invest ourselves and our time a little bit more in building a more fruitful, fulfilling relationship.
Men, we want to feel your presence, your passion.
Justice Schanfarber in his insightful piece writes, “Your wife is not your property. She does not owe you her soul. You earn it. Day by day, moment to moment. You earn her first and foremost with your presence, your aliveness. She needs to feel it. She wants to talk to you about what matters to her and to feel you hearing her. Not nodding politely. Not placating. Definitely not playing devil’s advocate.”
You know what we find most attractive? Your passion for life. And the fact that we’re a vital part of that. Let us know that, from time to time. We want to know. We want to feel it, and be a part of it.
Pay attention to her. Pay closer attention to yourself. Delve deeper. Touch her with your full attention. Notice the most subtle sensations and emotions.
You cannot imagine how magical it feels to hear you pour your heart out.
Openness is sexy. We love listening to what you have to say. It feels fantastic to hear you talk about something you’re truly passionate about, to hear you blurt out every profound or silly little thought that might cross your mind.
We want you to live in the moment, be fully present, with us.
”Hold my hand, look into my eyes, and tell me what you’re thinking.” Believe it or not, there’s nothing more heartwarming and reassuring than that.”
Take some time out everyday, and be there, fully, completely there, for the love of your life.
As skewed as it might sound, this holds true for both sexes.
It isn’t just the men, but even women fail to be emotionally present in their relationships. We get so caught up with ourselves, and our own little worlds, we end up losing out on treasuring something that we hold so dear.
So, irrespective of whether you’re a man or a woman, don’t forget to nurture your relationship. Let them know you’re there, that your relationship matters to you, and you’re willing to go the extra mile to keep the spark alive.
This is an inspiration piece from Justice Schanfarber’s write up. You can find it here .