Finding love online is hard. However, add societal stigma, smaller dating pool and fetishization and you have the even harder struggles for love amongst LGBTQIA+ people. For members of the community, there is constant fear of sexism, hostility, harassment, doxxing etc.

Orissa Post

Ever since the removal of Section 377, dating apps have tried to get LGBTQIA+ people to sign up. With their ‘More Choices, More Voices’ feature, Tinder introduced 23 gender categories and teamed up with Ritviz for a queer music video called Raahi.

However, queer women and non-binary people face further marginalisation online and in the real world. The unsafe process of finding love as a queer woman was also recently explored in Rajkumarr Rao and Bhumi Pendeneker starrer Badhaai Do. From Unicorn Hunting to catfishing, being queer on a platform that predominantly caters to heterosexuality is difficult. 

We scoured the web and asked 11 queer women to tell things that they’ve heard on dating apps. Beware: Reading may result in losing faith in humanity.

1. When couples make a joint dating profile and invite bisexual girls to join them, they are typically unicorn hunters. One such bio read, “He is a straight guy. I am a bi-curious girl. We are looking to spice up for our sex life. Looking for a Bi Girl for FMF threesome”.
– Anonymous
2. “This was an off-platform behaviour but I matched with a guy and told him that I was in his city for vacation. I did not respond after that. 4 hours later, somehow he showed up to my hotel to “surprise” me through my Instagram stories.”
– Anonymous
3. “You’re bi? Do you get turned on looking at yourself then?”
– Anonymous
4. “I am pansexual, and a guy asked me if I would like him to smell like pancakes…what?”
– Anonymous
5. “I told a guy about a very traumatic sexual encounter I had with a woman and he replied, “ohhh sexy”…”
– Anonymous
6. “Your breasts are nice, just dress feminine and show them off.”
– Anonymous
The Daily Edge
7. “I can change you, just try it for once.”
– Anonymous
Giphy
8. “Are you a boy lesbian or a girl lesbian?”
– Anonymous
9. A very politically aware guy told me, “You lesbians are so exotic, I get turned on, I’m a big ally”… I’m not even a lesbian.
– Anonymous
10. “I’m with a guy but he just wants to watch us have s*x, he won’t join.”
– Anonymous
11. “I’m actually straight, I’m just looking for a friend.”
– Anonymous

Dating apps and human beings, please be better.