There was no chance that I would be forced to ‘experience’ my favourite superhero’s swansong moments which will be super blurry and extremely dark in the name of the fuckall gimmick which some refer to as 3D technology.

I decided to ask a few other colleagues about how their experiences were with 3D glasses. 9/10 rated them as ‘the most useless thing ever’. One even talked about how it was extremely unhygienic. It is to be noted that the person hadn’t taken a bath for 3 weeks and he was calling it unhygienic.

You can’t even see the movie, forget it being ‘clear’ or anything. The glasses are so dark that it’s difficult to watch anything especially if it’s a movie from the DCEU. And just when you take off your glasses to see what is on your screen, you see a blurry mess that looks like your YouTube videos when the padosi ka Wi-Fi is really slow (144p streaming).

Here is the emotional roller-coaster I went through while wearing 3D glasses:

[Excited for the movie] Put on 3D glasses.

[Happy] Realize it is too dark for anyone to see how stupid you look with these idiotic glasses on.

[Confused] Discover giant black gap between the two lenses. Spend 10 minutes in a futile attempt to get your eyes to ignore the black patch, while staring directly at it all the time.

[Annoyed] Finally begin to see a full picture, but find that 50% of the screen is blurry.

[Hopeful] Convince yourself that your eyes just need some time to adjust, it will get better.

*30 minutes later*

[Angry] Still blurry.

*2 hours later*

[Enraged + Hopeful] Finally accept the fact that 3D just plain looks like shit, and take off glasses in hopes to just watch the movie normally.

[Homicidal thoughts] Discover that things are now a different kind of blurry without the glasses.

[Happy] Close your eyes.

All in all, the movie itself was not that bad. In fact, I have a feeling if I watched it in a regular theatre, it might have even been a great movie. Unfortunately, the 3D ensured that my mind was too busy silencing thoughts of vomiting to actually pay attention to the movie’s storyline

The quality of picture in 3D is very dependent on the angles being correct. If you sit in the absolute centre of the screen near the back, you may get an enjoyable show. Anywhere else will result in blurred vision in at least some portions of the screen. I would literally stare at one person on the screen, and if I turned my head a bit to the left, that person would become blurry.

If the best Indian 3D experience I’ve ever had is Anybody Can Dance 2, there is a lot to be desired here.

I will summarize my experience by saying it was like eating a bowl of Maggi in jail. While normally you might enjoy a potentially tasty bowl of Maggi, the fact is you’re eating it while in jail so it automatically tastes like shit.