DISCLAIMER: This article is NOT a pro-smoking suggestion.

Time passes, we grow up and meet an eclectic mix of people in our colleges, our offices and at random social get togethers. Some of them smoke, some smoke up, most of them drink, and then we also have friends who have no such habits. But no matter what they do, what their habits are, or where they come from, they go on to become some of our closest friends. 

Most mothers cannot digest this fact. They’ll hate our friends and term them as ‘bad influence’. If they get to know that you’re anywhere near these bad influences, they’ll raise hell. And they’ll not stop there. They’ll question your decision-making ability based on the friends you make as well.

My friends aren’t a bad influence on me

They are tonnes of things that could have a much worse influence on me than my friends. My boyfriends were a bad influence, because they made me feel unworthy, and because of them I struggled with self esteem issues for a good part of my wonderful life. My friends who smoke and drink were the ones who came to my rescue then. And I treasure them beyond anything.

My friends are more than their habits

Yes, they smoke and do other things occasionally as well. But if you ask other grown ups my age, and if you could ever digest the real truth, you’ll know that this is what every 20 something is doing. There’s nothing ghastly appalling about it. And what my friends do, does not define who they are. Some of them have brilliant minds and talents that will blow your minds. Their habits do not make or break them.

My friends smoke because they have their reasons

Mother, I love you more than anything in the world but judging my friends on the basis of their habits is just not fair to them and to me as a person. A person might drink and smoke for whatever reason, but nobody gets to judge them. And certainly not me for being friends with perfectly normal human beings. 

It’s better I have friends who smoke than friends who betray 

I have been friends with some people in my life for over 5 years now, and they have stood by my side through my good times, and have given their shoulders to cry on during the toughest of times. These friends are the ones who refused to betray the friendship I shared with them over a boy. These are my friends who made me happy when things at home were too much to handle. These friends who smoked are the ones who kept me sane. 

If I smoke or drink, it will never be because of my friends who do

I hang out with people who smoke up all the time. And for a brief time, I tried it too. But I gave up because I was too happy and high in life to need a plant to make me happy. So, if you’re worried that I might smoke or drink because of peer pressure, you don’t have anything to worry about. If I do, it will be my choice to start and my choice to stop. If I already have, it will be my choice to stop.

In the end mom, all I want to say is, I’m a mature woman, who has a mind of her own. I have repressed feelings, issues that you may not have the bleakest idea of because I care for you and I never told you anything. And during the darkest phase in my life, my friends were the ones who showed me the way.

You did give birth to me, but you don’t know a good part of my life which my friends know. You fed me when I was hungry, but you don’t know how much my friends supported me when I was too weak, and broken to do anything. You tried shielding me from every danger, but you couldn’t shield me from the ones at hand. It wasn’t your fault. But my friends helped me with the pain, and I can never forget that.

So even if they smoke and drink, I’ll never betray the wonderful friendship we have worked on together for so many years. Because my friends are worth everything, and I’ll happily stand by them no matter what comes.

But that doesn’t make me love you any less. You are my mother, and I will love you forever.