Sexual assault for anyone is a difficult topic to talk about. More so, when the victim happens to be a man. In addition to the taboo of sexual assault, men also have to deal with the whole 'Men don't get raped' misconception that a lot of people seem to believe in.
But the truth is, just like women, men are victims of assault too. And it's high time we listen to their stories.
Here are some of the stories from men who were assaulted, sexually and physically:
I was on a Tinder date that ended up at my place. Eventually, we started fooling around but after a little while, I just wasn't feeling it anymore. She asked me to fuck her but I said no and suggested that we relax instead. She asked again and I still said no. She then climbed on top of me and grabbed my flaccid dick and tried to put it in her. She was never able to make me penetrate her, but she used me to touch herself, I guess.
I was at a party and a new girl in our group insisted I needed her to babysit me. She would shoo away any girl who I was dancing with, saying I was too drunk when we had just started drinking. My friends kept her away from me the rest of the night, she came back an hour later and grabbed my balls, hard enough for them to swell and bruise, saying they were hers for the night.
One night I came home and my wife insisted we have sex. I told her there was no way in hell that was happening because we were about to get a divorce. But that didn't matter. She physically made it happen. She literally chased me around our living room, pulled my clothes off piece by piece and ripped my shirt off my torso.
I didn't want it. I struggled against it. I said no and stop, over and over again. She practically held me down but I knew if I fought her off she could scream abuse and I'd hang for it. She knew that and used it to get what she wanted.
Later that night, I tried to leave the house once and for all and she physically attacked me. I had to stand there and take it because I knew if I laid a hand on her, I would go to jail and my career would be over. She hit me multiple times and scratched me and drew blood and smashed my nose enough that I had breathing problems for months.
We had both been drinking. We had a nice chat earlier in the night but I absolutely was not interested. She walks up to me and just starts kissing me, grabbing my pants and tugging them down. She tried to pull me into a more private room.
I was clearly uncomfortable and didn't know how to make her stop. She wasn't listening to words, and if I physically stopped her, then I'm the bad guy. So it was just an uncomfortable situation.
Eventually, she realized I'm not gonna hook up with her and punched me in the face, with the hand holding her drink.
At around 3 AM, I wake up to find her on top of me trying to get my pants and underwear off. I naturally freak out and am mortified that my friend basically tried to rape me in my sleep. I quickly push her off of me and proceed to take a blanket and pillow to the living room and try to fall asleep in there. After about 20 minutes, my friend enters my room and proceeds to berate me for being mean, disrespectful, and for leaving her alone in the bedroom. I don't know how she did it but she convinced me to go back into the room with her and then I 'slept' until the following morning.
I was dating a girl when I was still a virgin. She had experience and as we went along, she really wanted sex. Soon it became a matter of I give her what she wanted or she'd get it from someone else.
One evening, she decided to push our make-out session into sex. I said no and she gave the same ultimatum as before, but this time she undressed and straddled me. She was convinced I'd give into her myself but I didn't. My body reacted of course and she proceeded even though I repeatedly told her I wasn't interested and wouldn't participate.
She went ahead and I just laid there and looked past her and watched TV and mentally disengaged. After a few minutes, she gave up, just rolled off me and got dressed.
I was in quite a bit of pain from a cluster headache, and my fiancee was feeling frisky. Sex helps with migraines, and my fiancee thought this was what I was having. She started fooling around with me. I asked her a few times to stop, and then told her a couple of more times to stop, but she wouldn't listen, and I wasn't up to fighting her off. She was under the assumption that if a guy was hard, he was ready for sex regardless of what he was saying. She had her way with me.
So my boyfriend was 16 and playing hide and seek with his cousins and their house help who was in her early 20s. They were both hiding together in a dark room and she put his hands on her boobs. He felt weird and ran out. After the game ended, she took him into a corner and told him that if he told anyone, she would tell everyone he raped her. He spent a long time thinking about how she could ruin his life with that allegation and it was mentally gruelling. The house help eventually got caught stealing something and was fired. But till the time she worked in the house, he would be scared to even enter the same room as her.
My female boss made me have a sexual relationship under the threat of being fired and sabotaging my career if I didn't go along with it. She did everything from sexual coercion to blackmail to physically pinning me down. It happened on a daily basis and went on for a year before I found a new job in another state. A few months after it started, she also told me her husband would kill me if he ever found out, which in hindsight was probably just to scare me into hiding evidence, but I didn't want to take chances.
When I was in my mid-thirties, I dated a woman ten years my junior. I had some sexual abuse growing up, and had difficulty with people touching me, especially when I was asleep.
Almost on a daily basis, she would stroke my face while I was asleep, and I would wake up screaming. She would belittle me for it, and do her best to dismiss the reasons why I had that issue. She would get sexually aggressive. She would climb onto me, pin me down and kiss me. I would turn my head, and she'd pull it back to continue, and ignore my protests. Even though I wouldn't want sex, I would do it in order to get her off of me. I would fake my orgasms to get it over with more quickly. She would often ask why I had no ejaculation and bought the excuse that since I got off every day, I hadn't had much built up.
I started to go out with the 'girl of my dreams' when I was just about 17. She was my first girlfriend so I didn't really have any idea of what a relationship should be at the time. I lost my virginity to her and loved our relationship for the first year and then I'd start to realize how one-sided our relationship was. She didn't care about whether I was happy or not.
I was on a hike with her and she failed to mention that she had been drinking that night before meeting up with me. She ended up beating the hell out of me and I ended up with a very swollen jaw, deep scratches all around my neck, and a bite mark where she'd broken the skin on my face. She still somehow managed to convince all of my best friends that I had beaten her up that night, most of my friends had enough knowledge about who I am and how crazy she is, so they didn't believe her but I lost my best friend because he took every word she said to him as the truth.
I was 18, just started a relationship with a girl. Another girl wasn't happy about this and she got a bit jealous. Late one night, I was coming home and I was totally wasted. So wasted that I kept blacking out. This jealous girl finds me at my front door and asks me if she can come inside. I tell her no, I'm not interested anyway. I blackout again but when I open my eyes, I'm in my bed and she is next to me. I tell her to go home. She is on top of me, riding, I push her to the floor, tell her to go home again.
Men get assaulted too and it's high time we start acknowledging it.
Designs by Rohit Jakhu