India’s cheap version of Thailand, Goa for ages has been the prison break we need in our lives. The sultry beaches, the sizzling food, the smashing babes. All of this, infuses us with Duracell rabbit like energy to party all night to wake up feeling like Bradley Cooper from Hangover, next morning. While it scores ten on ten on fun, beauty and debauchery, it’s not entirely devoid of eyesores. Here’s a list of must don’ts you might wanna pack in your bagpack if you’re planning a trip to Goa.

Disclaimer, keeping them in mind may or may not get you laid, but it will up your coolness, I promise.

1. Flashing Rupa underwear and Banyaan.

Admit it guys, you look nothing like this while coming out of the sea.

2.Wearing bridal make up and jewelry to the beach.

Agreed darling, you just got married but do you really think the red flowers on your swimsuit match with your red bangles.

3. Walking up to women on the beach with fraandship requests.

Honestly, It’s creepier to hear “Hey wanna a nice company to party” in person.

4. Couples on the beach, posing like Jack and Rose from Titanic.

Give us a break, it’s not 1997 folks.

5. Drunk, I-don’t- know- where -we- are- going -or- who- we- will- run -over -now-driving.

Be a serial kisser, not a serial killer.

6.  Speaking in queer accent to pick up foreigners.

Each time I hear an Indian boy say “Whar yoo from?” I just feel like telling him”Can you please repeat this in English”.

7. Imposing trance music on anything that moves.

I feel like slapping every bloke who thinks Goa is fun only for trance lovers.

8. Bragging about their amazing alcohol capacity.

Big deal, if you develop a live-in relationship with beer in Goa, you will probably die of liver failure before you turn 40.

9. People please spare us your Goa: Fun in the sun album where you have tagged all the food you ate there.

Let’s take a minute to remind ourselves that Goa isn’t Miami and we aren’t in the 90’s.

10. Guys clicking pictures of semi-clad women behind their sunglasses.

You really think that trick goes unnoticed?

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