Rajasthan High Court judge, Mahesh Chandra Sharma, is a man after my own heart. I say this while looking out of my office window into the wilderness of south Delhi. "Morni baga ma bole aadhi raat ma," croon my headphones into my ears. The sky is overcast. 

Surely, a pious peacock is performing his non-sexual (and pious) mating dance somewhere, I smile to myself. 

Speaking to reporters earlier today, Justice Sharma said, “Jo mor hai, yeh aajevan bhramachari hai. Kabhi bhi morni ke saath sex nahi karta hai. Iske jo aasu aate hai, morni usse chubhkar garbhavati hoti hai, mor ya morni ko janm deti hai (The peacock is a lifelong celibate. It does not have sex with peahen. The peahen gives birth after it gets impregnated with the tears of the peacock. A peacock or a peahen is then born).”

Justice Sharma knows what he is talking about. If you don't believe us, ask Bollywood lyricists.  

From Sahir Ludhianvi to Anand Bakshi, every Bollywood lyricist worth his salt has a peacock-peahen song. Songs replete with longing and desire. Songs soaked in peacock tears. Songs pregnant with emotions. 

 

“Sawan ka mahina, pavan kare shor, jiyare jhoome aise jaise ban ma naache mor…” (In the monsoon month, the wind is creating a ruckus, my heart swoons in tandem to a peacock dancing in a garden). 

This Anand Bakshi gem from the 1967 film Milan will elucidate Justice Sharma's point perfectly.  In case you are mistaking the peacock mating dance as something sexual, you need a gentle rap of a gau-rakshak's baton. 

No. Peacocks, like cows, are beings of great piety. Their love is selfless and ever-giving, like a cow's nipple. When dark clouds gather in the monsoon sky, a peacock spreads its feathers like a fan. Mind you, this is all for our viewing pleasure. Just like how milk flows in a cow's udders only for our consumption. 

Listen to this beautiful song from Lamhe to grasp the enormity of the thought. 

 

As peacocks goes about delighting us with their beautiful dance, tears of joy flow from their eyes. I mean, who wouldn't be happy to serve such true Nationalists? Meanwhile, peahens, who follow their husbands like dutiful Indian wives should, gently lowering themselves to gather their husband's tears in their private parts. Mind you, at no point does any sexual thought cross their minds. Indian birds don't have sex, they only procreate.

So you see, by explaining the procreation process of our national bird, Justice Sharma, has taught us an important life lesson. We should be pure and pious! 

via GIPHY