They say, "don't judge a book by its cover." It is pretty insane how this works both ways. A person can be all roses and lilies until they open up and turn out to be a complete you-know-what.
The fact is that we can never really know a person. Sometimes, it takes days. And sometimes, ages to understand who the other person truly is. Women on Reddit are talking about such people who — when expressed opinions — scared the sh*t out of them.
Trigger Warning: Some statements below are deeply disturbing. Apparently, there are a bunch of people who're real jerks with their primitive, baseless, and disgusting mindsets. Proceed with caution.
1. "'Listen, I know you don’t want to believe it but basically men are biologically designed to hunt and that includes hunt women. It’s in our nature to rape and just take what we want.' He said that on our second date."
2. "Office seat mate was known as a really sweet, pretty fun person but on the quieter side. They'd been working on something quite stressful. We'd all been giving them space. Then out of the blue, after hours of quiet, in a casual tone... 'You know when people go into offices with a gun and just go postal? I get why they do that.' Then she walked off."
3. "A seemingly sweet and sensitive guy I was seeing suddenly became really glazed over in telling me how much he was angry at women and how they’re to blame to relationships failing. His face went red and his eyes were welling up. It went over him like a wave then he returned to being all sweet and nice. I never really trusted him after that."
4. "'A man can’t be expected to ignore a 16 year old girl when she’s in his lap' - a male relative when I was expressing absolute disgust at men who prey on teens. My response was, 'So you’re okay with a grown man fucking a child?' His response, 'If she knows what’s she’s doing, it’s her fault and he shouldn’t get in trouble for it.' And thus the story of how I learned he’s okay with at least some level of child sexual abuse."
5. "When I was younger, my close friend told me that he genuinely believed he couldn't die. I thought he was kidding at first, but he'd bring it up time and again as we grew up. He'd say, 'you could shoot me in the head and I don't think I would die.' I always kept my eye on him since then."
6. "A few months ago on the news a man fought with his girlfriend and pushed her off a cliff. My uncle said something along the lines of 'she probably did something to trigger him.'"
7. "I went on a date with a guy and he was telling me how he loved going to sports bars like hooters and twin peaks. He was telling me that his favorite time to go was lingerie nights. Then he was telling me that he enjoys going to the bars on Saturday nights so he can watch women in tiny skirts and shirts and dresses cat fight. He then said, 'they're drunk enough to act like that in public, imagine what they'd do in private.' Then he winked at me. The next day he called me and asked me out again after our first date, I felt so uncomfortable and grossed out, I blocked him."
8. "I was dating someone who said he can't take women in his workplace seriously when they give him instructions unless they are bigger than him (taller, heavier, etc.). He would also often tell me that he saw dreams of him killing women. He thought of himself being so progressive... We didn't date for long after that for obvious reasons."
9. "That people who choose to be child-free are selfish."
10. "Terrifying. I literally had someone I used to work with back in college ask me if I would go out with him. I wasn't interested in him romantically, so I said no - and then he said, and I quote, 'I'll make you change your mind. You'll say yes. Also, I wouldn't trust any food I give you in the future.' (Which was weird, since I don't accept food from people and he'd never offered me anything up to that point but I digress)."
11. "'Old people should be euthanized when over 75’ - some dude in my philosophy class. Not a weird joke, not playing devils advocate, his genuine opinion that he then continued to defend with passion. He also believes the world would be better if we were all brainwashed into believing the same thing and having the same goal. While I am not physically afraid of him, I am very afraid he is going to become a cult leader or other serious criminal in the future…"
12. "If a girl gets raped and it lasts for more than 10 minutes, it’s not rape because 'why not just fight them off?? she’s definitely enjoying it.' I have never spoken to them since. Still sick to my stomach."
13. "'I feel sorry for them but honestly if they're walking alone and in quiet places at night what do they expect to happen?' My ex regarding women who get raped. He got dumped the next day."
14. "A colleague once told me that women weren’t meant for the workforce. I usually speak up when I don’t agree with something so I asked why and he said, 'Women were designed to stay home and breastfeed while men don’t have anything blocking them to go to work.'"
15. "A male friend of mine explained that he only realizes he loves his girlfriends after he’s cheated on them. Pretty messed up if you ask me."
16. "I was talking to my coworker about ways we relieve stress when she said she screams and verbally abuses customer service people when she's frustrated. I just stared at her. She then added, 'that's what they're there for!' and they're trained for it and it honestly made me wonder what else she does, or whether other people think this way too."
17. "Went out on a date with this man I met on a dating app, handsome man, maybe a little shy. We went out for dinner and a walk, everything was running smoothly, and the topic of therapy came out and he very nonchalantly told me that he told his female therapist that some women were in active search of femicide. I noped out of there really quick."
18. "I went on a date with a guy who said to me, unprompted, that he thinks women should all experience terrible pain during sex, so that women would be less promiscuous. He was about 3 long island iced teas down and had been asking me to come back to his place prior to this, which I kept dodging. I excused myself to the bathroom shortly after and bailed when he wouldn't notice."
19. "A former student telling me that 'maybe Black people are just criminals' when we were having a discussion about incarceration."
I am aware that several statements from the thread are deeply disturbing. They are a grim reminder about the existence of some a****les in our society. It is our duty to call out such people at every possible juncture. They should know that they are messed up.