To all the couples out there, listen me out. 

It’s not easy to find love and I am happy that you are blessed in that department. 

But no need to rub it in our faces, okay?

Ab boyfriend ne cake bhej diya hai toh kha lo.

Why do you have to put up a post about it, and make me feel worse about my half-burnt toast?

You guys enjoying a trip? Brilliant. Enjoy it then!

Those 100 #feelingblessed silhouettes of your girlfriend are too much, honestly.

If you are actually feeling blessed, tell her no? She is right there trekking with you. Thoda tez chalegi.

Plus, you really can’t go to an exotic location and just put up pictures of each other.

Mujhe Maldives ke beach dekhne hain, so please step up your content creation game.

And now that we are on this topic, let’s discuss those sly things you do.

You think I don’t notice when you go to restaurants and put pictures of food with your boyfriend’s hand in the background, a little out of focus?

Or those bokeh pictures with half his face?

I notice everything, which is exactly what you wanted. 

Now, who am I to force you to do anything? But I feel if you have such a public private life, you’ve gotta give me closure in every aspect. 

Suddenly, one day you post food pictures without his hand in the background. 

Ladai kari? Toh hint do na?

I am more invested in your relationship than probably even you are. I have follow up questions; I want an explanation. 

Basically, my lifestyle leaves me with a lot of time and if you are going to put stuff on the internet, I am going to watch all of it. 

And then, I will feel bad. So, please filter it out na? Please.