Losing your virginity can be scary, nerve-wracking and leave you quaking in your tushy, especially since there are so many myths and rumours surrounding it. Plus given the glorious state of sex education in our country, almost all of us enter the tumultuous terrain cold turkey. Lucky for you Reddit has got your back.
Here’s what 10 Redditors think you should keep in mind before giving up your v-card:
1. “Have fun, and don’t take sex too seriously. There will be smells, tastes, noises, etc… Don’t focus solely on the orgasms, enjoy the journey, and understand sometimes bodies are stubborn. Use it as an intimate moment shared with your partner, and enjoy yourselves.”
2. “Sex is a skill you’ll have to practise, so don’t worry about doing well. That said: listen to your partner, and be open with them. Also, use a condom and keep lube close. If one of you or both is using other forms of birth control, and really don’t want to use a condom, keep towels nearby. You WILL need them. But I’ll have to reinforce: use a condom if you can help it. It’s the only form of birth control that can prevent STDs.”
3. “I want to add to this: do not use oil-based lubricants with condoms. Used water-based lubricants. Oil-based will cause the condom to tear. Also, if you take birth control pills, some medications and herbal supplements can make them not work, such as antibiotics or herbs like St. John’s wort. So always make sure you’re not ingesting something that will interfere with your birth control.”
4. “When sex without condoms is on the table (for whatever reason; whether you really really trust your birth control and partner, or you’re not concerned about getting pregnant, or whatever), coconut oil and sex go together like peanut butter and jelly. Coconut oil is a great lubricant, makes for awesome massages, smells good, tastes good, melts in your hand/on your body and drips in all kinds of sexy ways, and if you use too much you can just rub it in and it’ll make your skin soft and moisturized. Coconut oil. Use it. It’s the bomb.”
5. “If you can’t tell them that it’s your first time, it’s probably not the right person.”
6. “And if they absolutely would NOT be sleeping with you if it WEREN’T your first time (e.g. it’s the virginity they want, not you as a person) it’s also probably not the right person.”
7. “It doesn’t have to hurt. Patience, relaxation, and lube are all good things. Edit to add: Bodies vary. My point is that pain isn’t a uniform experience, and probably not even necessarily the majority experience. Having a partner you trust, who takes their time with penetration, who lets your arousal help your body relax, can decrease the chance of pain. Even then, with an ideal lover, some bodies might not handle penetration well. If you intend to have sexual intercourse, it is a good idea to have a physical exam and tell the physician your intentions. They can look for things which might cause you problems.”
8. “On this note, you don’t have to wait for someone you love, but you should wait for someone who respects you, who is kind and cares about your experience, and who you feel comfortable with and trust. Being with someone who makes you feel safe in that vulnerable moment is key to making it a good experience, even if it isn’t necessarily good sex.”
9. “Honestly. The most important thing about your virginity is that a couple of years later you’ll basically never think about it again for the rest of your life. Good, bad or ambivalent, the first time you have sex ends up not being an important thing in your life. I’m not that old and hardly remember it / never think about it.”
10. “If you’re a female pee after sex!! having a UTI is horrible and if it isn’t treated it can turn into a kidney infection which of course can be fatal.”
Keep these in mind for your first time.
