So I’ve finally gathered the courage to come out of the loneliness closet and admit that there are moments in my relationship when I start feeling a little lonely. 


And you know what? As a 20 something-year-old, I’m still trying to find myself while I’m in a long term, long-distance relationship and I’m allowed to feel lost and lonely at times. 


And let me be clear here, just because I have pangs of loneliness at times, doesn’t mean that I’m not as committed to my partner or love them any less. 


In fact, there are times when a wave of guilt and anxiousness starts to run through my veins when I’m feeling lonely.


And I’m probably guilt-stricken because I’m with a great guy who understands me and loves me to the core of my soul but I can still not put a finger on why I feel the way I do. 

Quick and Dirty Tricks

In times like these, I can’t help but wonder if it’s my tendency to have expectations that hit me into this deep void of loneliness.                                                                             


Or is it the harsh truth that I’m way too dependent on my partner for my happiness and emotional support? 


I realised that it usually happens when my partner isn’t reacting in the way I thought they would or it happens in moments when they are’nt there for me. 


And the unfamiliarity in their behaviour makes you wonder if something has changed. 


But as I grew older, I realised that my partner had his own stuff to worry about too and because I’d always crib about my problems and forget to address his issues, he started distancing himself from me.   

I was no longer the center of his universe and he wasn’t mine either. 


And then, we got into a long-distance relationship and I started getting lonelier than ever. My entire world came crashing down because my friends were his friends and I realised that I had lost my sense of individuality. 


Well, let me give you a bit of million-dollar advice I’ve realised the hard way.

You can’t always expect your partner to be there for you when you want to dump your emotional baggage. They are going to be times when they’re dealing with their own issues and might not be able to prioritise your problems. 

The only person who can deal with it, is you!


This idea of “wholesomeness” that the society has created doesn’t come with just being in a relationship with someone. You are already complete.  


After a lot of confrontations and discussions, I’ve realised that my partner is always going to be there for my support but I have to fight my battles on my own and be my own person. 


One way in which I worked on my issues was by prioritising myself and incorporating individualism in my relationship.