There’s a common belief that sex gradually becomes monotonous as you transgress your ‘conventionally’ unpredictable 20s to your ‘conventionally’ stable 30s. There’s this perception that sex doesn’t remain as exciting, that the sexual urges phase out as one gets burdened with responsibilities that require time and attention.
Well, a few months back, Redditor u/Infinite_Werewolf395 asked people in the popular r/AskReddit community about the major differences in their sex life in their 20s and 30s, and trust Redditors to assure you that it becomes even more exciting as you grow.
1. “Sex in 30s about a million times better. Still very very horny but also experienced, skills, more willing to try things.”
2. “20s: sex?? Yeah!! I’ll have sex! 30s: sex? Hmmm okay, but it’s already 8:30pm and so if we start now and stop by 9:30 we should still get a full nights sleep, but also, we could wait until Friday or Saturday night that might be better because if we are up too late it won’t really matter much the next day but sure yeah let’s do it! Fuck it, who cares, wait what was that, oh, one of the kids is at the door…”
3. “Oh man, it’s so much better in my 30s than it’s ever been. Multiple reasons but primarily finding a partner (my perfect wife) who has helped break down my walls through conversation and experimenting together. I feel so much less guilt about sex now and I can actually enjoy it. Not sure if it was being raised with Catholic guilt or my first gf being just the wrong partner, but wow did I ever feel awful about anything sexual before!”
4. “I gained the confidence to ask for what I actually want, and say what feels good to me and what doesn’t. Too many people just go with what they usually do in the sack, instead of talking about what each individual actually enjoys. Basically, I no longer settle for bad sex.”
5. “I just turned 40, and I can confirm. It’s weird, because I thought my sex drive would wane, but god damn my husband is turning into a fine ass silver fox I can’t seem to keep my hands off of”
6. “20’s: screwed like a nympho, sex was a little better. 30’s: started figuring out what I wanted. Screwed a little less, but better quality. 40’s: best and most frequent sex yet. Hornier and more experimental now than ever before.”
7. “20s: As a dude, I’d sleep with almost any woman even if they were a horrible person or I hated their guts. 30: Anything considered a red flag or something I don’t want to deal with causes me to go limp and I lose all interest.”
8. “Orgasms. Never had one (with someone else) until I found my current partner in my 30’s. Life changing.”
9. “20s sex was horrible. Learned about myself, stopped letting men use me or make me ashamed, and found one that actually cared, mature enough to talk about what we both like and dislike, kinks and stuff, and he can actually carry it out. 30s sex is great.”
10. “Sex in my 30s is waaaaay better than sex in my 20s. Maybe because I’m super in love with my partner. Like, really being in hard-core love makes a difference in the bedroom.”
11. “20s is gathering knowledge 30s is converting it into wisdom.”
12. “The amount of sleep I am willing to miss out on for it to happen.”
13. “I know what my boundaries are, and can say no when I’m not into it. My standards are a lot higher.”
14. “In my 20s, sex was purely lust and ‘fucking’. All I was worried about was being hot for him. I never asked for what I wanted I just did things I thought he wanted. Now in our 30s we have open communication about what we need, and guide each other if adjustments need to be made. It doesn’t happen as often but it’s earth shattering every time it does. And we have embraced our kinks and sex is so much more fun, it’s not about it being perfect every time it’s just about experimenting with someone you love and trust.”
15. “I want to have less sex as I grow up because I’m fed up with people.”
16. Stopped putting up with the norm of rough sex being the only kind of sex. Forget that. I look for intimacy and connection now.”
Guess it’d be more exciting to complete the exploring phase and, for once, actually know what we want. Plus, intimacy can be beautiful. All we need to do is find the right person now.
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