Sexting is as complex as relationships, and there’s no black and white here. People do things that work for them, and well, it makes sense. While it was suggested that there was an increase in the sharing of nudes during the lockdown, when a lot of people weren’t in (physical) touch, sending and receiving of nudes have existed for a long time now.
However, it is private and sensitive data. Where it all comes down to trusting the person on the receiving end, specifically for women, given how they’re exposed to more scrutiny whenever something goes wrong. At the end of the day, all relationships are different, and different things work for different people.
And, here’s what women on Reddit think about exchange of nudes:
1. “They’re a lot of effort for very little reward.”
2. “They give so much power to somebody so completely untrustworthy.
Even if you trust the recipient, you can’t trust them after a breakup. And even if you could trust him after a breakup you can’t trust the guy that fixes yours or his phone, or the friend that borrows it to make a phone call.
I’ve seen it all. They are not worth it.”
3. “If you’re going to do it, don’t take them with your face in the picture.”
4. “It’s a normal part of being in a relationship for me. It’s fun, when the person you’re sending them to is good at reacting to them, which many men sadly are not.”
5. “As long as everyone involved consents and understands the privacy boundaries, people can do it.
It’s not my thing, so I wouldn’t do it.”
6. “I really don’t see the point in it anymore, it just feels strange for me to pose for a photo and send it so they can orgasm to me. I’d rather just be intimate with my partner in person and they feel the same way, then seeing me as a subject of pornography.”
7. “I think it’s intimate. When one of us is facing insecurities that involve sex, nudes from the secure partner and sexts inspired by them are a way to still connect in that area.
Plus, my partner is kind of the hottest guy in the world, and I love looking at his body. If we broke up, I’d delete his nudes easily because I don’t back up any photos. I trust that he would delete mine off of his phone, and delete backups as he came across them. He’s treated all of his exes well, and I have every reason to trust his integrity.”
8. “I don’t even trust my own phone to not leak photos, let alone someone else and their phone.”
9. “If I did, I would send it on Snapchat so I know whether or not they would screenshot it.”
10. “I love it, but I feel very safe doing it as a lesbian. There’s something about woman to woman nudes that is easier for me to trust. I’ve heard too many horror stories of men sharing pictures for revenge, but I’ve never encountered women doing the same. Not saying it never happens, and obviously also not saying that every guy would do that. But for me, I don’t think I could trust men with something like that, which is sad because it’s SO fun sending nudes to someone you trust! Even women I’ve been with in super casual relationships, I still trust that they’ll respect my privacy and dignity!”
Things that matter, include – consent, safety and trust, a lot of it.