I am a 29-year-old woman who weighs around 40 kg and who can eat a lot. Like, seriously, a lot.
My day starts with me waking up hungry and then, constantly thinking about what meal would I like to have next.
I even have a meltdown when I'm under-fed.
And what really bugs me is the fact that, for some reason, you cannot move beyond my weight when it comes to my appetite.
So, I'm going to say this once and for all:
I love my food more than I care for your judgmental disbelief over my apparent weight.
Just because I'm skinny doesn't mean you get to hate, judge or detest my ability to eat and appreciate food.
So, here's what you can - and probably should - stop telling me, and every other skinny foodie you ever come across from here on.
'Where does all that food go?'
It's clearly not going in YOUR mouth, that's for sure!
'I envy your metabolism!'
I know, me too.
'I think you might have a problem.'
You, right now. That's my problem.
'You must really have to work out a lot.'
Are you asking me, or are you telling me? Oh, wait, I really don't care.
'All the weight will show in a few years when you grow older.'
Do I LOOK like I care?
'It's good. You should eat 'cause you probably need it, being so skinny and all.'
So should you get your nose out of my business but I don't see that happening either.
'How can you be so skinny after eating like that?'
*stares at you while gobbling up that meat lasagna*
'I could never eat like that.'
You shouldn't. That leaves more food for me.
'You know, I can eat like that, too. I just don't.'
Who's even asking you, liar?
'I can just breathe and put on pounds, unlike you!'
Then you probably shouldn't... breathe.
'You know, you should probably share that.'
You dare try taking my food from me because I WILL go all Liam Neeson on you!
'There's no way in hell you're finishing that.'
Watch and learn.
'It is so not fair, that you can eat as much as you want.'
Baby I was born this way.
'I love a woman who can eat'!
My chicken wings are hotter than you so please don't cut into my meal time!
'God, I hate you for being able to eat without putting on weight!'
Good so now I don't need to pretend 'offer' you my food.