I’d made scrapbooks and hunted online for the perfect gift, harassed shop owners to source exclusive items and learned all possible call plans, all for a love that one day, stopped existing.
The relationships that fail, actually define us, whether we want them to or not!
But what I’ve learnt from my failed relationships is that the time and effort I spent on my apparent significant other(s), I could’ve spent on my own self!
From the confused person that entered the world of relationships with storybook ideals to the confident person that walked out with a box full of old letters and an uncountable number of WhatsApp screenshots, my failed relationships have been the biggest step in loving myself!
Failed relationships enabled me to know things I didn’t know about myself before:
To know that one can look and feel good, without looking for validation from one single person.
To know that the Maggi I cook for myself is just as important, if not more so, as the cake baked from scratch for someone else.
To know that I can enter the club as part of my gang and not on the arms of a companion.
To know that different ideals could be discussed and not just argued on, because my opinion matters just as well.
But the biggest lesson is that I can love myself, just as much and maybe even more, than the love I received from another person.
A relationship can break down for innumerable reasons. But every heartbreak teaches us a little more about ourselves.
And the realization that we are perfect in our own imperfect way is perhaps the biggest takeaway.
The love that I have for myself is an amalgamation of not just everything that someone else accepted and let blossom, but also of every quirk that I was asked to change and I refused.
It is a result of the choices that define me, even the bad ones. The kisses that I learned from, especially the sloppy ones. It is a love that provides me the confidence to try for another love!
A heartbreak may make me wary at times of trusting again and putting myself out there but it also teaches me that I can be the biggest love of my own life.
It taught me that till the time I weave my own two-people love story, there is no reason why the love that I have for myself can not be just as breathtaking!
