There is no doubt that having children is one of the biggest decisions a person makes in their lifetime. Parenting can become extremely tough if things don’t go as planned. Therefore, it’s really important to discuss a few things with your partner before you decide to become parents.
Here are some topics that you may want to cover before you make the big decision.
1. Why do you both want kids?
While it may sound like an obvious question, couples often skip this important question. Are you planning for kids because you feel lonely or to take your relationship to a different level? You need to be sure of each other’s intentions before taking this huge step.
2. Is this something you both want right now?
Now that you both are absolutely on board with the idea of having kids, it’s important to discuss if this is the correct timing for having a baby together. While some people freeze their eggs and sperm in advance, others might get pregnant way before they even start planning properly. Therefore, it’s important to discuss the right time with your partner so that you are both on the same page.
3. How would you divide the responsibilities?
From feeding the child to changing their diapers, becoming parents is a big-time commitment. There would be a number of duties and tasks you both would be equally responsible for. So, it becomes really important to discuss your individual set of duties before planning a baby.
4. Who will be responsible for paying?
Before you plan a child together, it’s important to be clear on your budget. Although the conversation around money can be a little awkward, it would surely reduce the chances of creating a big mess later on. Would you be paying for the hospital bills or will you be dutching it with your partner? It’s important to figure out a realistic plan about how much each person would be contributing to the expenses.
5. What sort of delivery do you want?
While delivering a baby in a portable tub sounds interesting, several things can go wrong during a water delivery. Similarly, vaginal delivery and caesarean section delivery can also get a little complicated. Therefore, you must explore and choose your preferred delivery method together.
6. How many children do each of you want?
While you might think that two kids are enough, your partner might want four children. So, it becomes really important to talk about this difference before planning a kid so that you can decide on a number mutually to avoid any issue later.
7. What would happen if you can't get pregnant right away?
You may want to start planning a baby right away but not everyone conceives the child as soon as they start planning. So, it’s important to learn about other possible options as well to conceive a child like surrogacy, IVF or adoption.
8. Who would be responsible for your child if something happens to you and your partner?
While it might sound like a negative question, but securing your kid’s future is very important. From your parents to your partner’s siblings, it’s essential to make sure that your kid will be cared for if the worst happens.
9. What would you do if a screening test shows that your baby has a disability?
It is a tough question and therefore it’s important to discuss it. Would you terminate the pregnancy? If not, how would you manage the additional finances for a kid with special medical needs? You need to be absolutely sure what would you do in such a tough scenario.
10. How strict or lenient are you going to be as a parent?
All parents love spoiling and pampering their children. However, you would need to set boundaries. Your idea of spoiling can be your partner’s idea of showing love. Therefore, it’s important to decide how stern or easy-going you both, as parents, would be.
11. How will you make sure that your relationship with your partner stays strong?
While it might be very difficult to have mature conversations once the kid arrives, it’s extremely important to keep adding spice to your relationship. From going on weekend dates to having a child-free conversation every day, keep the spark alive between you and your partner for a healthy relationship in the long run.